Uzumaki Classroom
by scarface101
Summary: What would happen if Naruto requested an investigation be placed on Team 7's lax training? And what if he were assigned to a... special mission? (Heavily inspired by Mahou Sensei Negima. Not a true xover. Negima characters may appear.) Warning: Harem, some bashing, and bits of kraziness. (Please check petition on profile.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yeah, yeah. I know. Plot bunnies and new story. Neglecting my other ones. Same old problem. Anyway, since I have so many, I'm offering up adoptions to anyone interested. If you wanna adopt, awesome. Anyway, this story is in fact, influenced by the Negima series, but I am uncertain if I shall be including any Negima characters. If I do, then the most likely candidates will be Evangeline AK McDowell, Kaede, and Zazie Rainyday. Thank you very much. And please check my profile for my petition.**

 **This one is for my friend Bramha god. And my girlfriends Kape and Bum Bums.**

 **Chapter one: First class.**

In Konoha, some time after the Wave mission has passed by. Naruto became unable to handle the unstable team dynamics and the negligent teachings of Kakashi. He decided to take matters into his own hands and appealed directly to the Hokage himself.

Naruto explained in explicit detail the happenings and circumstances of Team 7. And also added that Kakashi hasn't taught them any relevant jutsu and only taught them Tree Walking during the course of the Wave Mission AFTER they had their first encounter with Zabuza.

"Mmm. These are grave accusations Naruto-kun. Damning even. A Jonin Sensei not doing his job in teaching or nurturing the teams bonds is a disaster waiting to happen. I… learned this myself firsthand." Spoke the Sandaime in a grave tone.

The blonde nodded and spoke in an unsure tone "Erm, yeah. I wouldn't wanna bother you or anything but… I get the itching feeling that if something isn't done about this then it could go from bad to worse. Someone might even get killed if this isn't fixed."

The Hokage nodded stiffly and replied "Understood. Rest assured, I shall investigate these charges immediately. Though this will also cause the team to be put on probation and unable to work… but since you yourself brought the charges to my attention, I shall give you a solo B-rank mission."

The blonde sputtered in surprise "A B-rank?! I know I just did a C-rank turned A-rank but I'm not even close to being ready for a solo B-rank."

The aged Hokage took a drag from his pipe and spoke "I see that your time in Wave has caused you to mature significantly. Rest assured, this mission isn't dangerous at all. This year, the Chunin exams have been canceled in the wake of Konoha being chosen to hold Class D."

The whiskered teen raised an eyebrow and ask out of curiosity "Class D? What's that? And what does that have to do with me?"

The Sandaime rubbed his temples and began to explain "Class D is essentially a Kunoichi exchange program. The Yondaime came up with the idea some years ago during his tragically short reign. Simply put, every Four years, a different village hosts Class D for Kunoichi to learn, train and peacefully interact with each other. The program had been surprisingly successful. But… teachers tend to quit very quickly. Hence why we're looking for one. I believe being a teacher for these young ladies will be good for you. And perhaps them."

The blonde nodded in understanding and replied "Well, if it gets me away from my Team. I'll take it."

The Sandaime rubbed his palms together and handed the blonde boy a folder with this seasons class. Containing pictures, names, ranks and village of origin.

Seat one: Anko Mitarashi. (Tokubetsu Jonin of Konoha.)

Seat two: Kurenai Yuhi. (Jonin of Konoha.)

Seat three: Hana Inuzuka. (Chunin of Konoha.)

Seat four: Neko. (Name withheld for security reasons. Anbu of Konoha.)

Seat five: Natsuhi. (Jonin of Star village.)

Seat six: Kuroko Koumori. (Jonin of Kiri.)

Seat seven: Fuu. (Genin of Taki.)

Seat eight: Samui Nii. (Chunin of Kumo.)

Seat nine: Yugito Nii. (Jonin of Kumo.)

Seat ten: Karui. (Chunin of Kumo.)

Seat eleven: Temari: (Genin of Suna. Daughter of Kazekage.)

Seat twelve: Kurotsuchi. (Chunin of Iwa. Granddaughter of Tsuchikage.)

Seat thirteen. Tayuya. (Tokubetsu Jonin of Oto.)

Seat fourteen: Kin Tsuchi. (Genin of Oto.)

Seat fifteen: Karin. (Genin of Kusa.)

Seat sixteen: Ryuzetsu. (Tokubetsu Jonin of Kusa.)

Seat seventeen: Konan. (Jonin of Ame.)

Seat eighteen: Ameyuri Ringo. (Seven swordsman of Kiri.)

Naruto stared down at the pictures and names. There were other seats that had yet to be filled... but that was the least of his worries.

"YOU WANT ME TO TEACH A CLASS WITH EIGHTEEN OR MORE KUNOICHI, MOST OF WHICH WILL HOLD SENIORITY OF ME?! HOW THE HELL AM I, A GENIN SUPPOSED TO TEACH A BUNCH OF JONIN?!" screamed the blonde in apparent shock.

The Sandaime took a drag from his pipe and spoke in a somewhat mocking tone "Like I said, I think this will be good for both you and them."

The blonde hanged his head and could do not much else but accept defeat. And possibly plan some good old fashioned revenge on the Sandaime.

 **The next day.**

"Never thought I'd be back here again." Mumbled Naruto in disdain. Many memories of his time at the Academy being on a sour note. But he perked up at the fact he'd be a teacher instead. This enthusiasm was quickly replaced by a sense of dread at both the strong possibility of his inability to teach, and the fact his class may not even listen to him.

He sighed and entered his designated classroom. Class D. Inside he noticed that most of the Kunoichi were doing their own thing. Either chatting with one another or doing something of their own accord. He saw Neko cleaning her katana, and he saw the woman called Konan reading from a book. He also took note that Ameyuri Ringo appeared to he missing.

He cleared his throat loudly, gaining the Kunoichi's attention. He felt their eyes staring at him, which made him tug at his collar and speak "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! And… I will most likely be the WORST teacher you'll EVER have."

This awkward introduction earned some chuckling, followed by full blown laughter from some of the Kunoichi. "HAHAHA! Good one Gaki!" shouted Anko in approval while giving a thumbs up. Kurenai swatted the Snake Mistress with a rolled up magazine and spoke "Anko-chan. You shouldn't call our new Sensei 'gaki.'"

At this Hana raised an eyebrow and asked "So… you're not bothered at all that a fresh Genin is going to be our Sensei for this season?"

The red-eyed woman coughed into her hand and replied "I admit that this is a tad absurd. But… I don't think Hokage-sama would assign someone without SOME form of merit. Perhaps this is as much a test for us as it is for Naruto-san."

They nodded at this, while in the background the Akatsuki member glanced at the blonde and thought 'Zetsu's information was correct about the Nibi and Nanabi Jinchuuriki being here. But the Kyuubi as well? This could be an excellent opportunity. Though I must admit… this is the strangest mission I have EVER done.'

The blonde looked over the class Schedule he received. Surprisingly and for some reason… it was largely Civilian oriented. Perhaps this was meant to prepare them for retirement? He hadn't heard of any Ninja's successfully retiring so this might serve a different function all together.

The first on his list was… Chemistry.

"Okay then. Our first lesson… shall be Chemistry. I'll warn you right now… I know NOTHING about Chemistry so, put on whatever protective gear you have and stand WAY back." He spoke in the best 'Lecture' tone he could manage. The various Kunoichi took his advice and put on latex gloves, lab coats, and protective goggles, all standing at a safe distance.

"Ummm… is this okay?" asked an incredulous Temari.

Next to her, the Iwa Kunoichi shrugged and spoke "Hell if I know. But let's give the kid a chance. He seems to be trying. Look, he's at least trying to use a book for reference instead of randomly dumping chemicals."

The Suna Kunoichi looked again and saw the whiskered teen mumbling to himself as he read out of a book. He took the designated chemicals, as per the instructions told, and carefully poured them to the exact amount. When he was finished the concoction began bubbling, the Kunoichi stood by, wondering what it was about to do then…. (Poof.) A pathetic puff of smoke emerged from the mixture.

The class stood in apparent silence. "That was… underwhelming." Spoke Ryuzetsu while coughing into her hand. This was immediately followed by the laughter of Tayuya. She approached the concoction and shouted between laughing "THAT'S ALL? A SINGLE PUFF OF SMOKE? DRYING PAINT IS MORE FUN TO WATCH THAN THAT SHIT YOU JUST MADE!"

Naruto scratched his head nervously and spoke to his class "I don't get it. I followed the instructions exactly and…" (KAAAABOOOOOM!) out of nowhere a loud explosion took place. Causing black smoke to fill the room and the windows to shatter.

The Kunoichi's ears rang from the explosion, all coughing from the smoke as it cleared out. Naruto peeled himself off of the chalkboard, the front half of his body covered in soot, and a silhouette of himself on the wall. "Wow. What a bang." Commented Naruto while rubbing soot off of his face.

Tayuya got up from where she fell from the force of the explosion. She shook her head and mumbled "ohhhhhh. I feel like I got hit by a fucking elephant." Her friend Kin came to help her up and used the sleeve of her coat to rub off the black soot on the redheads face. She paused then broke into a grin and started giggling. She tried to stifle her laughter but failed quite badly.

Other Kunoichi leaned in to see what was so funny… and they too began to laugh. "What? What're you fucking laughing at dipshits?" asked the flute user with a scowl.

Karui snickered and snorted a little before answering "Your… eyebrows (snort) are gone! Burnt off!"

"WHAAAAAAT?!" screamed the enraged Oto Kunoichi, she rolled up her sleeve and attempted to pummel the new teacher, she was held back by Fuu who was freely giggling away at the loss of Tayuya's eyebrows.

The blonde Jinchuuriki chuckled as he spoke "We'll skip math so you can wash up then we'll skip to PE." The Kunoichi nodded in appreciation for that and left to wash off the dirt and grime from the explosion, though in Tayuya's case she had to be dragged off.

The blonde scratched his chin and couldn't help but wonder why they all signed up for Class D. He couldn't shrug off the feeling that they all had some type of reason. He shrugged and went to the Men's washroom to wash the soot off and change into a crimson jumpsuit that PE teachers wore. When he exited outside he gulped at the Kunoichi's all wearing matching gym uniforms of white T-shirts and red shorts. Some of them also wore white and red striped sweatbands.

He blushed at the sight of them stretching and could feel his blood flow to a certain place. "Hey Gaki-sensei. Watching some hot ladies stretch? Heh. You the type that likes Older women? I heard Natsuhi is a MILF." Teased Anko while poking the blonde's whiskered cheek.

A tic-mark pulsed on his forehead and he immediately blew his whistle at the Snake user. "ANKO MITARASHI! DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 50 PUSH-UPS!" at the force of his authoritative voice, the Kunoichi yelped 'Hai Sensei!' and dropped to the ground using her arms to push herself off the ground.

The three Kunoichi that knew Anko best all jaw-dropped at the sight. "Did he just…?" asked Neko. Her mask now ajar.

"Yes… he did." Confirmed Kurenai as she rubbed her eyes, wondering if what she saw was for real.

"THE REST OF YOU! START DOING LAPS! WORK THEM LEGS! I WANT MOVEMENT!" yelled Naruto as he blew his whistle again, prompting the Kunoichi to start jogging.

"Is it just me, or does Sensei seem to be getting more into his role?" asked Kin as she jogged alongside Samui.

The Busty blondes jugs bounced up and down as she jogged and replied cooly "Being a PE teacher isn't that hard. You blow your whistle and shout at your students to exercise. Still… I think he's a pretty cool guy. I was skeptical at first to be honest but… I kind of like him. That explosion was pretty cool."

As she jogged Samui was beginning to loose her breath. The throbbing pain in her shpulders was starting to get to her. Naruto took note of this and blew his whistle to get their attention "SAMUI! YOU OKAY THERE?!" he shouted in concern.

The Kumo Kunoichi huffed and puffed, raising a hand she replied "Sorry Sensei. My breasts sometimes make it hard for me to run and it makes my shoulders ache like crazy. I know it isn't cool but I'll be fine in a minute."

The other Kunoichi jogged in place, their eyes reading the whiskered teen, as if they were testing him. Wondering how he'd handle this. The Genin teacher frowned slightly and spoke "Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier? If you had something to say I would have listened."

The sound of shattering glass filled Samui's head. She stood stunned by her felloe blonde's response. "You… would have?" she asked him while rubbing her shoulders.

He nodded and replied "As your sensei it is my job to help you. But I can't do that of you don't talk to me. If you have some kind of problem then I'll do my best to help. If you'd told me that long periods of running was an issue I'd have made you do something else."

She gave a small smile and bowed to him "I apologize for not telling you. It wasn't cool. I'll be sure to talk to you if I have a problem." She spoke, her tone carrying growing respect for the new teacher.

He smiled and nodded replying "I'd appreciate that. Anyway, take five then hit the weights. Think you can do that?" she gave him a nod and sat on a bench to drink a bit of water and rest her aching shoulders.

"THE REST OF YOU! GET MOVING! ANKO! I SEE YOU! YOU CAN'T STOP MIDWAY!" He shouted in his 'Teacher voice' they all yelled in affirmative and began jogging once again. After several more exercises Naruto allowed them to cool off in the swimming pool.

They all changed into matching One-piece bathing suits the Academy provided while Naruto wore a pair of swim trunks. He say in the lifeguard seat and observed the ladies swimming about, sitting on the sides of the pool, and even soaking in some sun on the various chairs.

Kuroko stood by, giggling perversely at all the women in bathing suits. Naruto took notice of this and asked her "Hey. What you staring at them for? You a Lesbian?"

The black haired woman smirked, her pale face making the dark circles under her eyes more pronounced as she replied "That's right bouya. That a problem?"

From her tone he could tell there was some venom. He only gave a smile and replied in a jovial tone "Nah. No problem. If you're into that then that's your business. Though… keep your hands to yourself during school hours."

She laughed heartily and replied to the Genin teacher "You're all right Bouya-kun! No problem. Wouldn't wanna serve detention. Fufufu." She giggled and swan dived into the pool.

Naruto chuckled as he watched Anko randomly splashing the ladies , then took note that Konan was sitting by herself, scribbling into a notebook. He climbed down and approached her. She noticed him approach and she snapped the notebook shut. She cleared her throat and turned to address him "Yes Naruto-sensei? Is there something I can do for you?" she asked in a professional tone.

"Don't you wanna jump in and join the others? You seem kind of lonely there by yourself." He asked, somewhat worried about her. For some reason, he could feel that… deep down… Konan was a very sad person.

She shook her head and replied to him in a aloof manner "No. I'm fine Sensei. I'm not the type for fun and games. I would prefer to simply watch." He hmmed to himself, he could tell she wasn't lying… but he also felt she was deliberately holding herself back.

He smiled and said "Don't care. I don't want you sitting here by yourself. You are getting in that pool and having a good time!" with all the strength he could muster, he yanked her by the arm out of her chair and then tossed her into the water, splashing Karin and Ryuzetsu, making the former giggle loudly.

The blue-haired Kunoichi emerged from the water and spit out a stream of water. She glared at the blonde boy then grabbed him by the ankle and dragged him into the water "Take this!" she yelled as she pulled him in.

"GET HIM!" yelled Kin as she splashed the blonde when he came out of the water. "SAVE ME!" cried out the blonde in mock terror. All at once, it became split between the Kunoichi meant to "protect' their Sensei, and the ones who wanted to 'drown' him. All at once the stoic and aloof barriers Konan set around herself all melted away, she smiled and laughed as she swam about, seeking revenge against her Sensei.

Eventually the fun and games came to an end as the blonde teacher called for them to head back inside so that they may finish up the day's lessons.

They piled inside the ladies changing area and began to converse with one another, Karin giggled perversely since she sensed their new teachers Chakra levels and they were ENORMOUS! "Hey! Natsuhi-san! What did you think of sensei?" asked the spectacled girl.

The purple haired Kunoichi adjusted her headband and replied "At first I thought this was some kind of joke… but then I saw how hard he was trying. He's even tried to make sure we enjoy ourselves. I… I kind of like him. He's also kind of cute."

"I know right? Those whiskers remind me of a puppy!" yelled Hana in amusement.

Kurenai smirked and spoke while slipping on her dress "Indeed. I think this will be amusing to say the least." In the back of the changing room the three Kumo Kunoichi were whispering to each other.

"You sure Yugito-san?" asked Karui with a raised eyebrow. The feline blonde nodded her head in response.

"So it's true. He is indeed a Jinchuuriki. This… changes things." Spoke Samui while biting her lip.

Yugito cried anime tears and spoke as though she took a bite of a bitter and unripe apple "I know! But… can we hold off? I… he's just a kid! Maybe we could convince him to join us?"

The busty blonde rubbed her chin and replied "That would solve a lot of problems in the long run. Okay then. It is cool. We'll do this the slow and patient way."

On the other side of the changing room Kurotsuchi frowned as she thought 'I know that kid looks familiar. He looks just like the Yondaime. But… he never married. An illegitimate child? I can't be sure. I don't wanna tell Jiji anything without proof. Besides… Naruto-san seems like a nice kid. I should look into this more carefully'

Finally, Kin and Tayuya were whispering amongst themselves "Still no sign of that Uchiha boy?" asked Kin as she attached the ribbon to her hair.

The redhead was busy drawing on eyebrows as she replied "Fuck no. I don't know why that bastard Kabuto thought it would be a good idea for us to be part of this class. We can only look for this Sasuke brat during our off hours. And we gotta take these shitty classes."

The black haired Kunoichi giggled and replied "You're only upset because your eyebrows got singed off. I like it here and it's only the first day!" the redhead's only response is to flip her partner the bird.

Outside Naruto knocked on the door and announced "Class is in five! If you aren't in your seats by then I'm taking points off your test scores!"

At this the Kunoichi's all exclaimed in unison 'Hai Sensei!' the whiskered teen shook his head. This was actually going to be an enjoyable job for him. He noticed that if he gave some respect, then he'd get some back. It felt… good. To be treated with respect as a person and a teacher.

 **Later that day.**

"That shall be all for today ladies. Turn in your calligraphy on my desk. Tomorrow we shall start the day with home ec, so bring your aprons." The blonde announced making his students shput 'Hai Sensei!' one by one they turned in their work. Naruto noticed that the calm and stoic ones like Samui, Konan, and so forth had elegant and graceful calligraphy. But Anko, Tayuya and the like were much rougher.

He smiled as he began grading their work, but then noticed that Konan stayed behind. "Something I can help you with Konan-san?"

She shook her head and replied "No sensei. I… just wanted to thank you. For what you did for me at the pool. It… was fun. I haven't had so much fun since I was a child."

The whiskered teen waved her off and replied to her "Think nothing of it. And since you were a child? What were you doing all that time? Busy with your career as a Kunoichi?"

At that she flinched as though she had been stabbed through the chest. Her stoic façade cracking as she spoke hesitantly "Erm… I… I don't want to talk about it. Please excuse me." With that she bowed and nearly bounded out the door in a hurry.

"Was it something I said?" Naruto asked himself worriedly. Hoping he hadn't said something to upset her.

 **Meanwhile**.

"YOU DID WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" screamed Iruka Umino at the top of his lungs. The Sandaime's ears rang from the usage of the Chunin's Big Head Jutsu.

The aged Hokage coughed slightly replying in a professional manner "You heard me right. I assigned Naruto-kun as Class D's sensei. Neko-san shall soon report on his performance."

The scarred Chunin crossed his arms and spoke "Starting an investigation into Kakashi's lax training I can understand. If word reaches Konoha's clients about untrained Genin, it could call into question our credibility for mission success. But I don't understand why you thought it would be a GOOD idea to place Naruto in such a position! He doesn't know the first thing about responsibility or teaching!"

The aged Hokage clasped his hands behind his back as he stood up and replied dismissively "Perhaps because he hasn't yet been given a fair chance. I think this would be good for his growth as both a Shinobi and, perhaps more importantly… as a person."

Iruka was about to protest further but one Neko appeared in a swirl of leaves. "Neko reporting Hokage-sama." She spoke in a professional manner.

The Hokage nodded to her and asked for her report. She nodded and began to speak "When Naruto-san first arrived he seemed nervous and unsure of himself. Perhaps intimidated by the number of higher ranked Kunoichi and his own inexperience. When he first began with Chemistry, he consulted a book for instructions before proceeding. Then… well… the concoction exploded and burned off the eyebrows of fellow student Tayuya…. It was most amusing. Then during Physical Education, Anko teased him about being (ahem) aroused by the students as they stretched. This… inadvertently caused Naruto to go into a, for lack of a better term, 'Teacher mode' and he almost immediately commanded Anko to perform pushups. Then we began jogging.

Samui was unable to keep up due to her back aching from her… well developed bust. Naruto-san stopped her when he saw her pain, and quite professionally resolved the issue and assigned her to a different exercise. Then we were allowed to swim and cool off in the pool. Naruto-san took notice of Konan not wanting to participate. He then… encouraged her by tossing her into the pool. Afterwards it became a water war. We all had a good time. The remaining classes went without incident.

It is my professional and personal opinion that Naruto Uzumaki remains as Class D's sensei. He is quite willing to learn how to be a teacher, has proven himself competent, respectful, and caring and he has a way with worming his way into the ladies hearts. That is all."

The Sandaime nodded with a large grin and spoke in a tone of authority "Agreed. Naruto shall remain as Class D's teacher. Keep me updated on further developments."

She nodded and vanished in a swirl of leaves. "Hokage-sama! You can't just do that! A Genin teaching a class with numerous Jonin? That is both bizarre and highly inappropriate!"

The aged Hokage once again waved the Chunin off and spoke while taking a drag from his pipe "Iruka…. I think you might be pleasantly surprised by what the younger generation can teach us. Sometimes we learn things from them we ourselves never bothered to learn… or just never noticed."

Iruka huffed angrily and stormed out of the classroom. One way or another… he was going to fix this.

 **End chapter one.**

 **Next time: Naruto has come to accept and become comfortable in his new position and he finds friends amongst his own students. But others seek to either sabotage him… or take his position for themselves.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow! What a positive response! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Well now, as usual please check the petition on my profile. Reviews are much appreciated.**

 **Chapter two: The better Sensei.**

It was early in the morning as Naruto yawned. Still somewhat drowsy from sleep. He was approaching the Academy where he now teaches his class. This was only his second day, but he felt much more confident about his skills in teaching. The ladies seemed to take to him almost immediately.

As he walked through the halls he heard a faint coughing sound. He looked and saw a person carrying twin blades and it appeared she had a Kiri headband. He recognized her as Ameyuri Ringo. "Umm excuse me? Are you looking for Class D?"

The swordswoman perked up and looked in the blonde's direction. Her eyes narrowed dangerously until she spoke with a smirk "So you're the Sensei I heard about! Yeah. That's me. Sorry I didn't attend yesterday. Had to fill my prescription." She coughed several times then popped open a bottle of pills and swallowed one down. She coughed again then continued "Don't worry. I'm not contagious. Figured I'd join this class and take it easy for awhile. Chasing down missing Ninja's makes me feel like razor blades are scrapping at my lungs."

He nodded in understanding and spoke "I understand. But don't make lateness a habit. I already have had to deal with ONE person who made himself late on purpose."

She nodded and waved him off "Got it. Anyway, mind leading the way?" he smiled widely and showed her the way to Class D's room. When he opened the door the lights flipped on and several shouts of 'Surprise' rang out.

Hanging around the room were balloons and streamers, as well as a cake with layers of Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry frosting covering each one. "Wow! What's all this?" asked Naruto in surprise.

"Sorry Sensei. They asked me to stall you for a few minutes." Spoke Ameyuri while holding up a victory sign.

At this Kurenai smiled and said to her new teacher "We thought we should commemorate you being our teacher and for working so hard. So we kinda threw this together at the last minute."

"We didn't know what cake you liked sooooo we decided to make a triple layered cake. Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, the basics." Spoke Temari with a smirk.

Naruto teared up slightly and sniffled, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the building moisture. "Hey… is something wrong?" asked Karin as she adjusted her glasses.

The whiskered teen shook his head and croaked out "No… I… it's just… no one's ever done something so nice for me." At this a collective 'Awwww' filled the room.

"He's sensitive." Whispered Kurotsuchi with a hand over her mouth. At this point, Samui walked up to her fellow blonde and patted him on his head. She pulled him in for a hug which resulted in his head being in the valley of her breasts. "There there." She whispered softly to him.

"That kid doesn't know how good he has it." Mumbled Hana while sweat-dropping.

Kurenai nodded and spoke "Indeed. I can't even begin to count the number of men who would want to be in that position."

Naruto broke the embrace then smirked and spoke "You aren't doing this to get out of class today are you?" at the joke, his class burst out laughing and replied in unison 'No Sensei!' they all laughed heartily and began to separate the layers of cake and cut them up to be served.

They each took a slice of cake and took their seats. Naruto coughed into his hand and spoke to them "Thanks very much ladies. Today, we shall begin coming up with ideas for Clubs. Due to the limited number of members, there will be about three to four clubs open. So submit your ideas please. Later in the week we shall have a vote for a Class President. Kuroko, would you please pass out the Math worksheets?"

The Lesbian Kunoichi tilted her head to an odd angle and saluted him. She took the papers and distributed them to each Kunoichi, including herself. Inwardly the blonde thought 'Glad I don't have to come up with the paperwork like math equations and the like. Thanks Jiji.'

The blonde cleared his throat and spoke "You have thirty minutes to complete your worksheets. After that it'll be PE. We'll discuss Club ideas during lunch. Your time starts now." The blonde finished with the click of a stopwatch prompting the Kunoichi tk glue their eyes to their papers and look over the equation.

"Remind me… why do we fucking need to do math?" grumbled Tayuya as she tapped her pencil.

Next to her, Fuu shrugged her shoulders and replied "Well, I don't think it has to do with being a Kunoichi. I think it's more for daily life. Besides I… never had a good opportunity to learn in Taki." The Flute user scowled but realized the green-haired girls point and resumed working on her paper.

 **Later**.

"But daaaaaad! Why should I be here? I already passed the Academy." Whined Ino while crossing her arms and stamping her foot in a childish manner.

"Now Ino, behave yourself. Asuma tells me you've been slacking off lately. I think being in Class D with some seasoned Kunoichi will be good for you. Tsume attended it a few years back and loved it. I hear her daughter Hana is attending too." Spoke Inoichi while rubbing the back of his head. On the other side of the street he noticed his fellow clan head, Hiashi and his daughter Hinata were approaching the Academy gates.

"Yo! Hiashi!" exclaimed the blonde clan head with a smile waving at the Hyuuga's.

The stoic clan head turned to face the Yamanaka's and bowed slightly then spoke in a courteous manner "Greetings Inoichi-san. You must be here for the same reason as we are. I too am submitting my daughter to Class D. Her sensei Kurenai is attending and recommended that Hinata join as well."

The clan head was about to reply but was cut off by a loud booming voice that could only belong to one person "GOOD AFTERNOON HIASHI-SAMA AND INOICHI-SAMA! ARE YOU HAVING A YOUTHFUL DAY?"

The clan heads slumped their shoulders and spoke in a deadpan manner "Hello Guy-san."

The Taijutsu expert flashed a grin which… sparkled a bit then he spoke "I see you too are here about Class D. My youthful student Tenten almost begged me to let her join."

Standing next to him, was Tenten, she appeared to almost be bouncing up and down in excitement "Yeah! When I heard that Class D had Kunoichi from all across the Nations and had all manner of ranks I just had to participate!" she squealed excitedly.

"Indeed. Though I heard rumors that this seasons Sensei is an… interesting one." Spoke Hiashi as he adopted a thinking pose. Wondering who the Sensei was the rumors referred to.

As if on cue, a strange sound occurred. "Is that… marching? And chanting?" asked Hinata in curiosity. The looked on and spotted a group of Kunoichi marching away in matching gym uniforms and saw a familiar blonde at the lead.

"We are brave and we are bold!" Naruto chanted while leading the group.

"WE ARE BRAVE AND WE ARE BOLD!" the Kunoichi chanted in unison, all of them having large grins and evidently having a good time.

"Through heat, through swamps, through rivers, and through the cold!" the blonde chanted as he waved a steel baton, directing his class to march left.

"THROUGH HEAT, THROUGH SWAMPS, THROUGH RIVERS, AND THROUGH THE COLD!" the ladies shouted, following their teachers lead towards the gates.

"We don't surrender, we don't give in, our resolve is pure as gold!" chanted the young teacher and stopped in place.

"WE DON'T SURRENDER, WE DON'T GIVE IN, OUR RESOLVE IS PURE AS GOLD!" the class enthusiastically chanted as they marched in place.

"WHAT ARE WE?!" Naruto asked, placing a hand to his ear.

"WE ARE NINJAS!" they answered him with a cheer.

"AND WHAT DO WE DO?!" he asked them while raising his baton, directing them to shout at the top of their lungs.

"WE SERVE OUR VILLAGES THROUGH AND THROUGH!" they all shouted as loud as they could and saluted their teacher.

"TENHUT! ABOUT FACE!" shouted Naruto, prompting the class to turn towards their new guests and salute them.

Inoichi, Hiashi, Guy, and their charges all jaw-dropped at the sight they had witnessed. The Hyuuga clan head's stoic persona shattered as he exclaimed "Holy shit!"

The blonde clan head turned towards the Hyuuga and asked in surprise at Hiashi's reaction "The hell did you just say?"

The pale eyed man coughed into his sleeve replying while trying to regain his composure "Nothing. I bit my tongue." He straightened up and clasped his hands behind his back then spoke to Naruto in an even tone "I see the rumors are true. Though I am relieved to see you have a good handle on your class. If you don't mind my asking… where did you get that chant?"

The whiskered teen scratched at his cheek and replied back "Karui, the dark skinned redhead back there came up with it. Said something about picking up some rhymes from her Sensei back in Kumo. I thought it was kind of catchy and we rolled with it. What can I do for you gentleman?"

The fuzzy eyebrowed Jonin spoke up "Well Teacher-san, I and the Clan heads are here to submit these young ladies to your class! I hope they will have a youthful experience here!"

Hinata, tried to hide inside her jacket as she pressed her fingers together, Ino still looked stunned at the display from before, Tenten however had a huge smile on her face. Naruto turned to his class and spoke "Okay ladies! You may take your lunch break while I see about enrolling these new girls! I want you to discuss some club ideas in the meantime!" the ladies all saluted and shouted 'Hai Sensei' before dashing off to get their bentos.

The Kunoichi gathered their lunches together and sat around in the shade. All discussing various ideas on what Clubs they may want.

"I think a Kendo club would be cool." Spoke Samui as she chewed on some rice. The other students all voiced their agreement, Ameyuri approved greatly, even offering to be an instructor for the club.

"What about arts and stuff? We could include painting, music, and stuff like that." Spoke Hana since she was always curious about painting.

"That's not a bad idea. I am… quite good with Origami." Spoke Konan as she folded a piece of paper into a dragon that would flap its wings whenever she tugged on the tale. The others gathered around her and called out things like 'That's so cool' or 'I could never do that'. The amber-eyed woman blushed slightly at the positive praise.

Tayuya didn't want to be left out so she pulled out her flute and began playing. The others heard the music and felt quite relaxed by it. When the redhead stopped they resumed discussing other ideas. "OOH! OOH! What about a Chakra research club?" asked Karin while adjusting her glasses.

"…. I don't get it. What would a club like that do?" asked Neko as she ate… seemingly without removing her mask.

Anko leaned in towards her friend and whispered "You can take that off Yugao-chan."

The Anbu merely replied "Can't. Security reasons. Foreign Kunoichi and all that."

Karin ignored their exchange and explained "Simply put, the Chakra Research Club, or CRC, shall research and investigate Chakra itself. Why was the Rikudou Sennin the first to have Chakra? Where did it come from? Why do people posses different affinities yet not constrained to it? We shall also investigate rumors like if higher Chakra reserves leads to more… endowment."

At that last bit several of the Kunoichi's blushed and glanced down at their busts. Fuu and Karui both whined at their flat chests while Samui and Anko adjusted their shirts from their well developed chests. A small cough sound occurred causing the females to look up. Kuroko however didn't and muttered between chomping in her meal "Hey Bouya. We aren't finished ye…. Who the hell are you?" she spoke while narrowing her eyes.

Standing in front of the group was Iruka Umino carrying a clipboard. He seemed to be counting them off with his pen before scribbling something down and spoke to them once he had finished "Hello ladies. I am here to relieve Naruto. It is my opinion that he is too inexperienced and shall be unable to teach you."

"Screw you! We like him as our teacher! And you better give a good reason for this!" yelled Temari while pointing an accusatory finger at the Chunin.

"As I said. Naruto is too inexperienced and generally speaking he would be a bad influence on the class." Replied Iruka while writing on his clipboard. He then took note of their state of dress and asked "If you're in gym uniforms then why aren't you exercising?"

Kurenai answered the group in a flat tone of voice "Because it is our Lunch break." The rest of the class nodded in agreement. One Neko slipped away, knowing she needed to report to the Hokage immediately about this interference and vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"Define 'Bad influence' for us." Demanded Yugito with a scowl. Having a general idea about what he meant.

Iruka ignored the Nibi Jinchuuriki and clapped his hands together "All right then class! Up and at'em! We'll get this whole thing sorted out soon. I promise." However, despite his cheerful tone, he found himself sweating under their gazes. The hardened glares whittling him down.

"What's going on here? Iruka? The hell you doing here?" asked Naruto with his three new students close behind him.

"This motherfucker is trying to take your place! I bet this asshole just wants to teach a class filled with hot babes so he can take dirty pictures and get his rocks off like a sick perv!" yelled Tayuya as she glared daggers into Iruka.

The scarred Chunin laughed nervously as he spoke in a nervous tone "That's not true. You have no evidence of that! That's a baseless accusation."

The Kunoichi all got up and surrounded him. Their eyes intense with feminine fury. "We don't want you as our teacher. Nor do we want any teacher except Naruto-sensei." Spoke Hana, baring her teeth like an angry dog about to pounce.

From behind, Iruka was shoved to the ground by Ryuzetsu. "We should… punish him. Right?" spoke Ameyuri with a sadistic grin.

"Yeaaaaah. What do you think Sensei? How about we lynch this perv?" asked Anko brandishing a rope, the noose dangling near Iruka's head. "I owe him for peeping on me when I had a bath." She continued and snapped the rope in her hands to further her point.

"How about we castrate him? He shouldn't be allowed to spread those worthless genes of his." Spoke Kuroko as she pulled a knife from between her boobs and licked along the blade with her unusually long tongue.

Ino, Hinata and Tenten huddled together and thought collectively 'Those girls don't look happy!'.

Naruto however raised his hands up and spoke in a 'Teacher' tone "Now ladies. We aren't lynching or castrating him… even though he might deserve it. We are not savages. Though… PE isn't yet finished and I was looking to find a sparring partner for you during some Self-defense classes."

They all glanced at each other in confusion… then a light bulb flashed over their heads by what the blonde implied. With a cheer, they dragged Iruka to a sparring ring and tossed him in. Fuu and Kin put a helmet and sparring gloves on the Chunin then bounded out of the arena.

Naruto, now wearing a black and white stripped shirt blew a whistle and yelled out "ALL RIGHT LADIES! I WANT ANKO IN THE RING STAT!" a cheer came from the Snake user as she hopped into the ring and smacked her gloved hands together, throwing a few practice punches.

"N-N-Naruto! Please! Can't we talk about this? Okay, maybe I was wrong before when I tried to remove you without the Hokage's consent, but can't we make this go away?" the Chunin pleaded while holding up his gloves in fear.

"Oh noooooooo. Noooo. That won't do. You're helping these nice ladies get their workout. And besides… as their teacher I need to ensure that troublemakers get punished. Consider this payback for today AND my time at the Academy when you didn't give me the help I NEEDED. Anko! Give him your best! And why does he have a helmet again?" the blonde asked at the end in mild confusion.

The Snake User pounded her gloves together and replied "So that he doesn't break too soon." With a nod, Naruto blew his whistle signaling his student to begin, in one smooth motion she delivered a blow to the Chunin's ribs. Making a distinct crackling noise.

She then punched him several times in his face, despite the protective headgear, his left eye began showing signs of swelling from the beating. The blonde blew his whistle and yelled "Tayuya! Tag in!" the redhead nodded and bumped gloves with Anko, the two switching places and the 'Lesson' continued.

"Hey Sensei! We came up with some neat ideas for clubs!" Spoke Fuu excitedly almost bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Nice. You'll have to tell me later." He replied and observed that Iruka was a total wimp. He couldn't decently defend himself, he was pleading and begging for it to stop, and he wasn't even fighting back. The blonde hmmed to himself believing that the Chunin must've spent too much time as a teacher for snot nosed Fangirls and Emos.

"Hey Kurenai. Cover for me. Gotta take a leak. Oh, and don't let Kuroko feel up anyone's ass." The blonde spoke while handing over the whistle. The red-eyed woman raised an eyebrow then blushed as she saw Kuroko staring down at Hana's shapely rear.

With that the blonde went to the restroom. In the arena Tayuya was winding up for another punch and yelled "Time for a Tayuya special! **RED HOT HAYMAKER!"** she threw her fist, the impact making the sound of crunching cartilage ring out, the helmet the Chunin wore flew off his head, followed by the Chunin himself.

He sailed through the air, blood and snot gushing from his broken nose. "Think he'll clear the fence?" asked Ameyuri with a grin. Then, Iruka's pants snagged onto a flag pole and were torn off, along with his underwear.

A shout of 'Kya' filled the area as they saw the Chunin's unmanly underwear flying from the flag pole. When he landed on the ground he was sprawled out, exposing what was between his legs.

"HOLY SHIT! IT… IT… IT… IT'S A FUCKING THIMBLE!" shouted Karin while adjusting her glasses. Dead silence filled the area. No one knew how to properly react. Until at last they broke down laughing at the underdeveloped manhood.

Hinata, Tenten and Ino all thought 'Weirdest class. Ever.' Eventually they too began giggling along with the others.

"Say… where's Neko? I haven't seen her since the One inch wonder showed up." Asked Hana while scratching her cheek. Meanwhile, Neko was trying to revive an unconscious Hokage, whom fainted from seeing the Anbu in her sexy gym uniform.

 **With Naruto.**

Naruto exited the restroom, rubbing his hands with a paper towel to dry them then tossing it into the trash. He heard the sounds of female laughter and muttered to himself "Guess something interesting happened." He chuckled and was about to walk off towards the Academy training field but a shout stopped him "THERE YOU ARE!"

He froze up and slowly turned towards the direction of the shout. He gulped when he saw it was his 'team' of all people. "Ah great. What do you want?"

Kakashi looked at the blonde out of the corner of his eye… while holding up a familiar orange book "Apparently, Team 7 is now on probation. Seems someone tipped off the Hokage about my 'lax teaching'. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you? Maybe you told the Hokage I wasn't teaching you Jutsu. As your Sensei, my job is to guide you through life. Not teach Jutsu. If I believe you deserve to learn Jutsu THEN I'll teach you. For now, my focus is TEAMWORK between you three. Now, how about you ask Hokage-sama to call off this whole thing?"

Something snapped inside Naruto. He felt a deep and terrible rage come to a boil, fiercely bubbling to the surface "You know what Kakashi? Go fuck yourself!"

The only intelligent reply the scarecrow could muster was a simple 'What?'. The blonde ground his teeth angrily and spoke in an irate tone "You're covering your own ass! I'll give you that first part where a Sensei is meant to guide their students through life. But the rest is bullshit! You didn't even bother teaching us CHAKRA CONTROL until AFTER our first fight with Zabuza! And what have you done to promote 'teamwork'? You have a lovesick Fangirl, and a self-absorbed Emo, and you don't do anything to fix their attitudes! All you've done is drag us into D-ranks and preach empty words. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR OWN DAMN HYPOCRISY!"

He yelled in rage, when he had finished he inhaled and exhaled loudly to bring oxygen back into his lungs. His face flushed red from his rant. From behind him a small crowd of Kunoichi formed, Natsuhi approached first and knelt next to her Sensei, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Being a mother, she could sense that the blonde was hurting. "Naruto-sensei? Are you all right? We heard shouting and came to check on you. Are these people bothering you?" she asked him while hugging him close to her bosom.

He nodded stiffly in her embrace and mumbled loud enough for his class to hear him "Yes."

That was all the Kunoichi needed to know. "Wait. Sensei? What's going on here? Why did you call the Dobe 'Sensei'?" Sasuke spoke with a scowl.

Konan stepped forward first, followed by the other Kunoichi who formed a protective barrier around their teacher. The Blue haired woman frowned and spoke to the other members of Team 7 "That isn't any of your business. I think you need to leave. Right. Now."

"You heard her. Get lost Hatake." Anko said with a audible Hiss.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" yelled Hiruzen from the gates, Neko accompanying him. Despite the blood stained tissues in his nose, the grimace on the Sandaime's face made up for it. "Neko here told me that Iruka attempted to remove Naruto-kun from his position WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. Now I find you here Kakashi. You and your team. Is there something you wish to tell me?"

The masked Jonin was about to speak but Naruto cut him off and explained "Kakashi came here to try and pressure me into convincing you to stop the investigation of Team 7."

The Sandaime nodded gravely and spoke in a tone of authority "That's all I need to know. Kakashi, you are now demoted to Chunin and shall be doing Guard duty at the gates for the next three months without pay. I shall decide what to do with the remainder of Team 7 later. And Kakashi? If I hear a single word about you continuing to harass Naruto then I shall have your headband. Mark my words on that! Now leave immediately. You are disrupting Class D."

The masked Jonin could only nod, stuffing his hands into his pockets he left, despite the mask covering his face one could easily see his scowl. "Oi. Kakashi. What's Class D?" asked Sasuke, still wanting to know why those Kunoichi from before referred to the Dead-last as 'sensei.'

"I can tell you that Sasuke-kun! I heard all about it and…" the fangirl began talking as they rounded the corner and vanished from view.

"They're gonna be trouble." Spoke Neko. Frowning under her mask.

The Hokage nodded and spoke to the Anbu "Agreed. Keep an eye on things. Find Iruka and deal with him. Also… I don't like that look Sasuke had. I think he might try something soon." The purple haired Anbu merely nodded as the class dispersed. Naruto finding himself in the warm embrace of at least three different Kunoichi. All seeking to comfort for what just happened.

 **Inside Naruto's mindscape.**

"Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Round the clock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Three days says the clock." Spoke a voice deep in the darkness. Crimson eyes glowing behind the cage. Continuing to murmur 'Tick. Tock.' The Kyuubi chortled deeply and muttered with bated breath, as though the beast were excited about something "Tick. Tock. Says the clock. Three days more says the clock. Things are looking up now says the clock. The bouya is in for a wild ride says I. Tick. Tock."

 **In the real world.**

The class was now reassembled along with their new members. They submitted their Club ideas to which Naruto, now in a better mood, exclaimed "I'm liking these club ideas! The Kendo, Arts, and Chakra research clubs are now official! Tomorrow we shall have a night class in the Uchiha district!"

Hinata raised up her hand nervously causing the whiskered teen to acknowledge her, she nodded and asked "Umm. Why the Uchiha district Naruto-ku I mean, Naruto-sensei?"

The blonde Jinchuuriki grinned and answered "Simply put, the Uchiha district is now a site of historical significance of our village. Our Foreign exchange students are largely unaware of the finer details of the mass. I hope that a trip shall enlighten them. Additionally there have been rumors of hauntings in the Uchiha compound. Some say a ghostly figure roams the halls at night, crying for her lost child."

"Scary!" yelped Ino while hiding her face behind a book.

"I'm not scared of any ghosts! Though I'd like to see one!" yelled Fuu while pumping her fist.

"I agree. It would be most interesting." Ryuzetsu also agreed.

"Then let's make it more interesting! How about a challenge? We do a contest of bravery! Naruto-sensei goes in alone to seek out the ghost, then we break off into teams to find and kiss him! Winner gets to spend the rest of the night with Sensei!" asked Anko while flashing a smirk.

"EHHHHHHH?!" squealed the class in shock. "WHAT?! DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS?" yelled Naruto in surprise. Sure he found his students attractive and everything but he had only known most of them for only a short time.

"WHAT? WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM LIKE THAT YET! HE IS TOO YOUNG!" yelled Natsuhi in protest.

"I don't see the problem. It sounds cool. Besides, it is only a kiss right? We don't have to do anything… inappropriate. Unless that was what you were implying Natsuhi-san?" asked Samui with a stoic expression. The Star Kunoichi blushed and wildly denied it claiming she was a mother and wasn't looking for another man.

"I second Samui-san's statement. If Naruto-sensei is old enough to he a Shinobi then he is old enough for intimacy. That is, if he consents." Spoke Neko while adjusting her mask.

"Wait, you mean if he wants to fuck we can?" asked Tayuya with a chuckle. Wondering what the blonde boy was packing. Yugito was blushing hard as the Nibi was hounding her with numerous inappropriate images of her and her teacher in relations, one of which involved a cheerleader outfit and her asking him for an 'A' on a 'failed' test.

Karin giggled perversely, already imagining how big he might be due to his excessive amounts of Chakra. Naruto was crying anime tears as the class kept making intimate and sexual implications that he is now powerless to stop. 'Kami. Help me. My class has gone insane.' The blonde thought in dismay. Though admittedly… being in charge of a class of hot babes… was a dream come true.

 **Elsewhere**.

The sun was beginning to set on Konoha, darkness descending on the village, starting with the now empty Uchiha compound. The street lights blinking to life to light the empty streets.

Inside the compound, bluish green flames lit the halls. The sounds of crying filled the halls, the sounds of bare feet slapping against the floor, metal chains rattling and dragging across the floor. A woman with white hair, wearing a ragged grey Kimono wandered aimlessly, chains bound around her wrists and ankles making clinking noises.

"Naruto-kun? Where are you Naruto-kun? Where is my Naruto-kun? I want him back. I want to say 'sorry'. NARUTO-KUN! PLEASE COME BACK TO ME! I AM SO SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU ALONE! NARUTO-KUUUUUUUUUUUN!" wailed the entity as it phased through the walls. Her cries echoing throughout the district.

 **End chapter one.**

 **Next time: The Naruto Kiss challenge kicks off with a bang! With a ghostly figure seeking out Naruto, what will happen? Find out next time in Uzumaki classroom!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Nothing much to say here. Please review, please check out my petition on my profile and check out the stories of my friend Bramha god.**

 **Warning: This chapter will be pretty dark compared to the first to chapters.**

 **Chapter three: Unrest.**

It was late at night in Konoha, most people had already gone home for the night. But tonight was a late night for Class D. Standing outside of the Uchiha compound Class D eagerly awaits the start of their 'Kiss Sensei challenge.'

Naruto himself stood nervously in front of the entrance and asked "I don't suppose we could do this during the day? I wouldn't mind being kissed by one of you ladies… but…" he fell silent at the end, swallowing hard since he was afraid of ghosts.

"Don't be like that Sensei. It wouldn't be as much fun if we were to do it in the day!" spoke Kurotsuchi as she slapped the blonde's back.

He grunted in slight pain from the impact and grumbled about 'crazy thrill seeking Kunoichi.' Kurenai walked up holding a glass bowl and spoke out "Okay everyone! We shall give Sensei a Ten Minute head start. During this time we shall randomly select three teams with two members each. Are we agreed?" in response the class nodded with Kuroko ushering the blonde inside, she licked his face with her long tongue and whispered to him "Good luck big boy."

He blushed at the feeling of her tongue sliding across his face, blood rushing down below his belt and quickly entered inside. The doors slamming shut behind him. "Maybe I should have canceled?" he asked himself as he nervously walked down the hallways, he clicked on a flashlight that was provided to him and the class and scanned the halls with the light.

Old bloodstains were spattered across the walls and floor, forcing him to dry swallow and break into a cold sweat. His hands shook but he didn't stop moving. He eventually made it out towards the courtyard, the grass was dry and brown, weeds littering it. The ponds now either dry or filled with muddy rain water.

He stepped on something and looked down, seeing a rusty shuriken, no doubt one of the weapons used to claim the lives of the Uchiha clan members. Hmming in thought he marched on, but then he heard a noise. He spun on his heel and shined the light on source of the sound, it was only an owl resting on the withering tree. It's eyes glaring down at him as it hoots in annoyance at the light. He chuckles nervously and breathes a deep sigh of relief. "Guess I'm worried about nothing. Ghosts aren't real." He spoke trying to reassure himself. As he continued his walk, deeper into the compound he felt his hand grow cold, then numb, his hand felt so cold that it felt like pins and needles were stabbing at his hand. He yelped in pain, dropping the flashlight and noted that it was covered in frost.

He stuck his chilled hand under his arm to get it warm again, the bulb of the flashlight cracked from the building cold, causing bluish green flames to light the empty lanterns throughout the halls. He yelped in surprise but he overcame it quickly due to curiosity. He inspected the now lit lamps and felt the air around the strangely colored flames. The air didn't feel hot like it would with normal fire… this felt… cold.

He took a lamp so he could better see in the dark, but this time… he felt a presence. Standing right behind him. A hand touched him on the shoulder, it felt somewhat cold and clammy, he assumed at first it was Ameyuri due to her sickness. "Ringo-san? It hasn't yet been… ten… minutes?" His voice caught in his throat at the sight of a woman with white hair, her body holding a pale ethereal glow in the lantern light. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" he screamed in terror. His screams filling the compound and carrying on throughout a small portion of Konoha.

 **Outside**.

"Was that… Sensei screaming?" asked Kin as the Kunoichi waited for the announcement of the chosen teams.

"Eh. Probably jumped at his own shadow." Said Yugito with a smirk as she inspected her nails for the moment.

"I don't know Yugito-san. That didn't sound like a 'jump at your shadow' scream. It sounded more like a 'Scream for your life because you met an angry Spirit' type of scream." Muttered Ryuzetsu as she adjusted her headband.

Kurenai cleared her throat gaining the attention of the class, she smirks while holding up a microphone "Good evening ladies. The teams have been chosen! Team one shall be, Anko Mitarashi and Konan! The perfect blend of pure boldness and a cool temperament. Team two, shall be Kuroko Koumori and Tayuya! Karin-san, what is their power level?"

Karin popped up with a device over her eye that bleeped for a second, she then crushed it in her hands and screamed "IT'S OVER 9,000!"

"What 9,000?! There's no way that can be right!" yelped Kurenai in shock.

The other class members sweat-dropped at the Ice Queen's unusual antics. "The hell's with her?" asked Tenten while crossing her arms. Hana Inuzuka scratched the side of her face answering "Got me. I think Nai-chan is trying to emulate a game show host for effect. Or maybe she's just trying to have fun because she wasn't picked."

The Genjutsu mistress flushed in embarrassment, she cleared her throat and spoke into the mic "Moving on. Third and final team shall be Neko and Hinata Hyuuga. Will this team be the Wildcard?" with the teams selected they went their separate ways. Each choosing their own method of entry.

Kuroko and Tayuya went around to the back to cut off Naruto. Konan and Anko went through the front and split up so that they could cover the east and west sides of the compound simultaneously and meet at the back.

Neko and Hinata set up in the courtyard, using a small communicator, Hinata would coordinate Yugao's movements.

It was only a matter of who would find their teacher first.

 **With Konan**.

"Why am I even playing this silly game? This might be my best chance to capture the Kyuubi." She muttered as she rushed down the hallways. She then saw, out of the corner of her eye a masculine figure. "Sensei?" she called out and went around the corner. The room she entered was dark and cold. She couldn't see inside at all. "Sensei? Are you in here?" she called out, hoping to coax him from hiding.

The door slammed shut behind her, causing her to turn on her heel out of reflex and try to force the door open. However it refused to budge. She cursed under her breath and began forming handsigns so that she may use a jutsu to smash the door open… but nothing happened.

"Sorry Konan-chan but, you're not going anywhere." Spoke a voice behind her. She cautiously turned around and was met by the face of her long deceased brother figure Yahiko. Still dressed in his Akatsuki cloak, a familiar hole in his chest and blood stain as well.

"Yahiko? What is this? Some kind of Genjutsu?! I won't be fooled!" she shouted in denial and performed a 'Kai.' But Yahiko didn't vanish. He stood there, a smirk on his face.

"That's not gonna work Konan-chan. I'm here. Always have been. Standing right by your side since that Hanzo incident. This place… the Uchiha compound. It is strange. The boundaries of life and death are blurred here. I have no doubt your classmates will soon be seeing things. Now I think it's time I beat some sense into you!" he explained then, without warning he delivered a powerful right hook across her jaw. She fell to the floor and spat up a mixture of blood and saliva.

She slowly got up and looked at Yahiko out of the corner of her eye, her voice a little shaky as he asked "Yahiko-kun… why?"

The orange haired man rubbed his nose then kicked her in the gut replying in a blank tone "Why do you think?"

She groaned as she held her stomach "I don't know! Why are you acting like this?! Me and Nagato have continued where the three of us left off! Peace for the Elemental nations! We have been…" she tried to reason with him but was cut off by a kick to her face. She then felt his hands grip her throat, his eyes glaring into hers as though he were trying to set her very soul aflame.

"Bullshit. Peace? You can lie to yourself, BUT NOT TO ME! I know what you're doing Konan! I have seen everything! LOOK AT WHAT NAGATO DID TO ME! HE SHAMES MY VERY MEMORY! DESECRATED MY BODY BY TURNING ME INTO HIS DEVA PATH!" he shouted angrily. Slamming her head to the floor, his grip tightening around her throat.

"No… you… don't… understand (wheeze.) Must… gather… Bijuu… (gasp) will make a weapon… stop wars… no one… will suffer… what we suffered!" she choked out, color draining from her face then it slowly turned blue from suffocation. Her brother figure tossed her across the room, she rolled across the floorboards. She attempted to scramble to her feet but a knee to her face knocked her back down.

Stars danced about her vision, Yahiko gripped her by her hair and spoke to her in a cold, malice filled tone "That so? But tell me… what if you're wrong? What if your plan doesn't work? Will you be able to live with yourself for causing the deaths of the people you are claiming to save? Don't kid yourself. You're smarter than that. That guy who says he's Madara? He doesn't want peace. Never has. He has been using you and Nagato since I died. WAKE THE FUCK UP KONAN! I LOVED YOU AS MY SISTER AND YOU BETRAYED ME! LOOK AT YOURSELF! LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING! AKATSUKI IS DEAD! IT DIED WHEN YOU BEGAN RECRUITING PSYCHOPATHS LIKE HIDAN AND OROCHIMARU! WE ONCE STOOD FOR SOMETHING! NOW YOU'RE FOLLOWING A MADMAN!"

With every word that came from his mouth, Konan felt her heart and soul being crushed, the pressure increasing more and more. Her cold and stoic façade shattered. Years of pent up sadness, turmoil and denial came flooding out. "Yahiko. I'm so sorry. Please stop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She muttered over and over. Tears and snot gushing down her face.

"You want my forgiveness? Then take your balls out of your purse, and fucking DO SOMETHING worthwhile with your life. Stop spending it destroying the lives of others. I always loved you as my precious sister… but what you are doing. Needs to stop. Leave Akatsuki. Never look back. Nagato and Akatsuki itself is dead. There is no reason for you to stay." He spoke in a more relaxed tone. Bluish green flames lit the room, on the wall was a mural… of herself lying in the water. No signs of life in her face, further along it shows Tobi standing in some type of tomb, looking down at the bodies of her brothers by bond.

"Is… that my… future?" she asked shakily, her swollen eye now widening in shock.

"A possible one. Don't let it be." He replied in a blank tone of voice. She dry swallowed HARD, the lump in her throat bobbing up and down. She reached into her clothes and brought out a seal scroll which contained her Akatsuki cloak. In a puff of smoke the black cloak with crimson clouds appeared and she cast it into the oddly colored flames. The fire consumed her cloak and the mural of her untimely end melted away, the paint dribbling onto the floor. She hugged her knees close to her chest and began to cry. Rocking herself back and forth.

Yahiko nodded at her choice and vanished. His spirit now at peace knowing his sister will be okay. That she shall have a brighter tomorrow.

 **With Anko**.

"Naruuuuto-sensei? Where are you? Come give Anko-sama a nice sloppy kiss! I'll even give you a special service! Anko-sama will smother you in her boobs! Are you in… here?!" she called out while opening a walk in closet. She puffed her cheeks in disappointment. "Nope. Not in here. Wonder where he went?" she asked herself.

All of a sudden she felt cold, and saw that her clothes had inexplicably been torn to shreds. Her kunai clattered to the floor as her body went limp. She felt numb. Unable to move or get up from the floor "Kukuku. It seems you and I share similar tastes. Wonder what your peers would say if they found out you liked them young?" spoke a familiar voice that made her skin crawl.

"OROCHIMARU!" She screamed in rage. Her face contorting with white hot fury at her inability to move much less hold a Kunai.

"Correct. I am and am not here. This place is unusual to say the least. Though being able to see you fave to face again isn't unwelcome Anko-chan. You have certainly grown over the years." The pale man spoke while hovering over her. He licked her face with his tongue. Anko's face turned green in disgust.

"Aww. What's the matter? Still holding a grudge after all these years? And here I thought we were… close. Closer than most students and Senseis." He spoke with a malicious grin.

"Don't fucking kid yourself! I never felt that way about you! You used me! You put this curse mark on me! I will not rest until I put you six feet under!" she shouted angrily. Her face flushed red from anger.

"Tsk tsk Anko-chan. That is no way to speak to me. Kukuku. You were a good student all things considered. Brash, but reliable. Too bad you didn't have a good bloodline." He spoke while crossing his arms.

"Always comes down to that huh? You and your fucking obsession with bloodlines and immortality! Well just you wait! I'll fucking kill you and feed your corpse to Manda myself so help me Kami!" she screamed, straining her body to the limit to move.

"Touchy touchy. Still… why are you so loyal to Konoha?" he asked her in a casual manner.

"What?" was the only intelligent response she could come up with.

"Kukuku. Still a foolish girl after all these years. What has Konoha ever truly done for you? The Civilian Council and Elders refuse your promotion to full Jonin on grounds of you being a flight risk. Everyone excluding your 'friends' call you names behind your back. Every day men and sometimes women proposition you with money in exchange for sex, as though you're a cheap prostitute. In all these years you haven't truly gotten any stronger. And even Jiraiya attempted to coerce you into sex before he sealed off the Curse Mark. Why don't you… just let go? Submit to me and fade into oblivion? You will never feel pain or sorrow ever again. You have no real reason to live." He spoke to her.

As he listed off her woes, her heart sank inside her chest, tears streamed down her face as she felt … for the first time in a very long time in her life… the desire to cease existing. An inky black substance emerged from the mark on her shoulder, forming a pool beneath her nude body.

Inky tendrils touched her nude body, slowly dragging her inside, her eyes slowly drained of life. Her breathing quieting. Her body twitched at the sensual feeling of her body being engulfed. "There you go. Just stop resisting. Life is nothing but pain and sorrow. Doesn't it feel good? Fading into death?"

"It… it… feels… good…" she mumbled quietly, little by little the color and life from her face diminished. Her desire for the end deepening.

"Good girl. Savor this feeling. It will be the last you ever feel." He spoke, a malicious grin spreading across his face. His control over her body deepening as he consumes her spirit. The only thing left of Anko was a lone hand, slowly sinking beneath the inky pit.

"Not so fast now Anko-chan!" spoke a feminine voice, a figure grabbed Anko's hand, keeping it from sinking.

Deep inside the darkness, Anko felt herself drowning, her body quivering in pleasure. Her addled mind barely able to from a coherent thought. "Oi oi now Anko-chan! That's not like you to roll over so easily just because Orochimaru said a few things. Don't forget why you're still alive!" yelled a female voice that sounded… vaguely familiar.

"Why… I am… alive?" she asked the voice. The purple haired woman's eyes shot open as she yelled "That's right!"

 **Flashback**.

Some years ago, shortly after her Curse Mark branding, Anko went on a massive drinking binge. She was angry and bitter at her Sensei for obvious reasons. Her spirit was completely demoralized. To top it off, she was constantly sexually harassed and insult for her being Orochimaru's student. Maybe… it would be better if she disappeared.

She went to a fairly infamous suicide spot hidden behind the Hokage monument. A deep ravine that went deeeeeeep down. Those who jump down are never seen again. Not even their bodies are found. She took a swig of her remaining Sake and smashed her bottle to the ground. Her face was flushed from the influence of the alcohol. Removing her sandals she was prepared to jump and end her miserable existence… but then she heard the sounds of crying.

Off to the side she saw a familiar blonde boy, staring down into the ravine. Tears streamed down his face. "Hey kid… what're you doing here?" she asked him, wondering why a child would want to commit suicide.

"Why should you or anyone even care? I have no friends or family. No kids want to play with me. People whisper things behind my back. No one has ever adopted me. No one even knows I exist. Do you know how it feels… to be alone… yet still surrounded by people? I do. Maybe it would be better if… I disappear." He told her, his voice carrying a deep unknowable level of despair.

The Snake user felt a chill down her spine… that was the exact same thing she told herself, to convince herself that she wanted to die. "O… oi now kid… don't be stupid! I… I care!" she spoke, not wanting him to throw his life away.

"No you don't." he mumbled angrily. His blue eyes giving her a sharp glare.

"I do! Really! I… I kinda know how you feel. People insult me all the time. And… I feel cut off from people now. I feel alone too. So… so I wanted to jump to my death." She tried to explain herself, though she was fumbling in panic since she didn't know how to sincerely convince him to stop. The blonde scoffed at her and was about to jump, out of options Anko randomly yelled "WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"

The whiskered boy face planted and could only ask "What?"

She nodded and spoke to him "Y… yeah! Will you go out with me? Have dinner? You and me? I'll… I'll buy. Please? Save my life?" she almost pleaded at the end, if this boy took his own life… then she would truly lose hope for the world. He sniffled and bit his lip, nodding stiffly. She smiled and took his hand in hers "Good. My name is Anko Mitarashi. I… I hope we can be good friends."

 **End flashback**.

That… was THE defining moment of her life. The point in time she was at her lowest, and Naruto without intent, saved her from herself. "NO! I'M NOT FUCKING DYING LIKE THIS! I AM NOT GOING TO DIE AND LET NARUTO LOSE A FRIEND! OROCHIMARU! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU FOR THIS!" screamed Anko as she clawed her way out of the pit. When she emerged she saw exactly who had grabbed her hand "Kushina-sama you helped me?!" she yelled in shock.

The red haired woman winked and replied "Just a little. Now… I think you need to return a favor to someone." Anko nodded and climbed out of the pit, now able to move properly she picked up her Kunai and lunged at her former teacher, piercing his chest with her weapon.

"But… how?!" yelped The pale man as he coughed up black blood. The mark on Anko's neck burned hot, but she ignored the pain.

"Just like the coward you are. You didn't have the balls to face me head on, so you tried to use your poisonous words. Well guess what? I won't be tricked ever again! Sure I have a fuckton of problems, but they're nothing compared to what Naruto-kun has! And I'm not gonna leave him! Do I like him? Fuck yeah! Do I see him as a man? Perhaps… I do. But big whoop! I don't care what anyone thinks! For Naruto-kun I will sacrifice everything for him, even my own happiness! NOW FUCKING DIE ALREADY YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and repeatedly stabbed at her former sensei.

The pain from her mark worsened with each stab, her vision was turning black as she felt the urge to pass out. She resisted it long enough to finish off her ex-Sensei by slashing his throat open, almost severing his head from his body. A geyser of inky black blood showered Anko from head to toe.

The curse mark on her neck ran down her neck, with the piece of Orochimaru's soul gone… it now ceased to be. The Snake Mistress wept in joy and finally slumped over unconscious. Overhead Kushina slowly clapped her hands and spoke "Well done Anko-chan. You did well. Much as I'd love to stay or check on Naruto-kun… I have things I need to do. Bye bye!" with that, the spirit of Kushina vanished into thin air.

 **With Kuroko and Tayuya**.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK MEEEEEEEEEEE!" Screamed Tayuya as her Curse mark burned hot on her neck her vision fading from red to black as she felt her consciousness slip away.

"I probably would if you weren't screaming in pain like that." Remarked Kuroko as her partner passed out. The black haired woman sighed, running a hand through her hair as she muttered "Seems like I'll have to carry her…. Hmmmm. Fufufu. A tomboy! Hell of a turn on!" she giggled perversely while reaching to pick up the redhead.

Her ear twitched as she heard a sharp whistling sound, and for no apparent reason, she pulled a dildo of all things out from her cleavage to stop a knife that had been thrown at her. "Awww. I liked this one!" whined Kuroko as she discarded the ruined dildo then pulled a knife from her cleavage and growled "Show yourself so I can do some very unpleasant things to you!"

"Now is that any way to talk to your old man? I'm glad that sailor mouth there passed out. Better that way. Now we can talk alone." Spoke a masculine figure who's face was masked by the darkness.

Kuroko smiled in amusement, already recognizing the voice "Well if it isn't my fucking Step-father. This the part where I'm supposed to apologize? Confess my sins? Own up to what I did?" she asked while twirling the knife in her hands.

"That entirely depends on you." He remarked, a smile almost shining in the darkness.

Kuroko's head tilted to an odd angle, almost to the point it looked like her head might fall off her shoulders. A wicked smile spread across her cheeks as she spoke "Really now? I wonder what happens… if you kill something already dead?" she a flick of her wrist she threw a knife at the figure of her step-father, a loud clang occurred as he smacked it aside with a cleaver.

"You should better learn to behave yourself." He spoke in a taunting tone.

The black haired woman rubbed her nose and shrugged replying "Well what do you expect? Since I was raised by a serial killer. I remember… all those years ago. You worked as a teacher in a Civilian school. Once a month you would bring in one of your students for 'private tutoring'. I distinctly remember them. Moaning like whores as you fucked them in your room. And when you were about to climax you'd strangle them with wire. Sometimes you'd pull so hard their heads would be cut off. When it was over you'd have me clean up the dirty sheets. Fufufu. I remember it all so well." She pulled another knife from her cleavage and licked along the blade.

"I'm curious. How did it feel to kill me and break free of your prison?" he asked, slowly stalking towards her.

She smiled and replied "How did I feel? Lemme tell ya, I didn't feel anything."

This caused him to stop dead in his tracks making him ask her "Nothing? You didn't feel anything? Not joy? Not remorse? Not sadness? You didn't feel a thing?"

She grinned darkly, her eyes almost gleaming in the dark "Not a thing. I killed you just because I wanted to. That's it."

His grip tightened around his cleaver. A look of disappointment and anger "Seems I didn't make a monster. You were already born one." He remarked then tried to slash at Kuroko. In one smooth motion she grabbed him by the wrist and snapped it, a loud crunching noise sounding out, followed by the spray of blood when she stabbed him through the temple. Her tongue licked up some of the blood staining her face as she thought back a little bit.

 **Flashback**.

"Kuroko Koumori. Sentenced to death for the murder of approximately 715 KNOWN victims." Spoke one Ao as he read off a clipboard. Kuroko sat completely strapped down into a chair, her execution not far off. Standing in front of her is an alluring and gorgeous woman whom she'd love to bang before she got sent to the Executioners block.

"Do you deny these charges?" asked the woman called Mei Terumi.

"Why should I? I killed a lot of people. Didn't keep a score card." Kuroko answered honestly her head tilting to an odd angle.

"I see. Was there a particular reason or purpose for their deaths?" Mei asked while pacing in front of the killer.

"No specific reason I guess. Sometimes I was bored. Sometimes I felt like it. Sometimes it was to keep my skills sharp. Sometimes they irritated me. Otherwise, no real reason. I killed because I could." She answered with a blank and unreadable expression on her face.

"Interesting. Kuroko-san. I may yet have need of someone of your talents. As the new Mizukage I find myself in need of capable individuals. If you agree to work for me, as Kiri's national Executioner then I shall indefinitely postpone your sentence." Spoke Mei with a sultry smile.

"Sounds like a desk job. Boring. Not interested." Huffed Kuroko with a frown.

The Mizukage waved a finger from side to side and clicked her tongue "Tsk tsk. You misunderstood me. Simply put, your jobs shall be to handle assignments and suicide missions that no one else can. You fail, your sentence shall undoubtedly be served. Succeed and you'll prove your usefulness."

Kuroko grinned widely and spoke with a certain… hunger in her voice "Sign. Me. Up."

 **End flashback**.

Kuroko sighed in a bored manner tossing the her deceased father to the side, causing him to vanish in a cloud of ash. She grumbled a bit and tried to open the door… but found it wouldn't budge. She sighed in annoyance and tried to kick the door open, despite how brittle it appeared it didn't even crack under her heel.

"Damn. Seems like we're gonna be stuck here for a bit." She sat down and turned her attention to the unconscious Tayuya and muttered to herself "Hmmmmmmm. It isn't much fun to do it while they're unconscious… but… it wouldn't hurt to see the goods." She giggled perversely and slowly pulled up the redheads shirt.

"Hey. Nympho lesbian. You have five seconds to let go before I smother you with those tits of yours." Spoke the redhead angrily as she came to.

Kuroko laughed nervously and answered her classmate while letting go "Juuuust checking for injuries. You took a nasty spill. By the way… what happened to you?"

Tayuya scoffed and shoved Kuroko to one side, she then slumped against the wall and hugged her knees to her chest. "None of your fucking business." She spoke angrily. The black haired woman nodded as they sat silently together.

 **With Hinata**.

Hinata Hyuuga sat in the courtyard, repeatedly trying to call her Anbu teammate "Neko-san! I think Anko-san, Konan-san, and the others are in trouble! Please respond!" she cried into her commlink, but all she got was static. She used her Byakugan again to check on her fellow classmates. All of them either trapped or unconscious.

She wanted to run to help them or get help, but she was afraid that something similar might happen to her. Dark chuckling filled the courtyard making the young Hyuuga jump slightly, she nervously looked around for the source of the menacing laughter.

"Well if it isn't the failure." Spoke a masculine voice. All at once she found herself surrounded by men, their faces were shadowed but she recognized the robes they wore belonging to her Clan's elders.

"Go away! Leave me alone!" she squeaked out in fright. She rushed forward, trying to push past them but they shoved her to the ground.

They burst out laughing at her with one speaking "You dare speak that way to us? Hmph. Miserable cretin. You're nothing more than a failure of our clan. A defect that slithered out of your mother's filth. Your younger sister can easily best you. And what's more, you possess 'feelings' for that stupid brat Naruto. He doesn't even see you as a woman, much less acknowledge your feelings."

Hinata sniffled because she knew it was true. She really was a failure. Nothing she ever did could please her father. (SNAP) a whip cracked, striking her across the back. She screamed out at the stinging pain. One by one the Elders cracked their whips at her, mercilessly beating her. She curled into a ball waiting for her torment to end.

"Hinata. Don't be scared anymore. Be brave." Whispered a small voice into her ear. Hinata sniffled and whispered back "I don't know if I can."

The voice giggled softly and answered her "Hinata-chan. You can do it! Be the Kunoichi you were born to be! Even if you don't want to harm others… protect yourself, your friends, and your pride! Let that be your Ninja way. Your Nindo."

The heiress nodded and then crossed her fingers together "Barrier!" a bubble formed around her stopping the cracking whips. She slowly got up, wounds on her back bleeding profusely . "I… know that voice. Those words… they can only belong to mother. I… I AM NOT SCARED ANYMORE! MY MOTHER ENTRUSTED ME WITH OUR CLANS FUTURE! I… I MAY NOT BE A STRONG KUNOICHI… AND I DON'T CARE HOW NARUTO-KUN SEES ME! AS A FRIEND, A SISTER, OR LOVER… I WANT TO BE THE KIND OF KUNOICHI THAT CAN HELP HIM!" she shouted, her resolve now solidified.

"What? What kind of Jutsu is that?!" yelled the Elders in unison.

"The ancient secrets of our Gentle fist. Mother… entrusted me with these unorthodox techniques. And I intend to use them! I won't be afraid anymore!" she yelled and charged at the nearest elder, crossing her fingers she formed a barrier around her clenched fist and stuck the Elder in the stomach… and they all exploded into confetti simultaneously.

"What… the…?" she muttered in surprise at how easily they were beaten. She fell to the ground, her vision blurry from the loss of blood on her back. "I… I need to get help." She muttered and limped off towards the exit.

 **Meanwhile**.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" screamed Naruto as he ran down the hall so fast a 'zhooooooom' sound occurred. He ran as fast as he could crying anime tears. "WAIT A SECOND NARUTO-KUN! I SAID WAIT!" yelled the spirit as she flew after him. Even with her ability of flight, she was amazed that he still managed to stay ahead of her. But unlike her, he would eventually tire.

The blonde slammed his feet down and skidded to a halt, and began yanking on a door to open "LET ME IN!" he yelled, on the other side of the door Yugao, who had been locked inside was also pulling at the door, having been forced to witness a certain Genjutsu that a pair of Taijutsu specialists practiced "NO! LET ME OUT!" she screamed in horror.

"LEMME IN! LEMME IN!" he yelled trying to beat down the door with the help of shadow clones.

"LEMME OUT! LEMME OUT!" Neko screamed while hacking away at the door with her blade.

"Ah ha! There you are Naruto-kun! C'mere!" yelled the ghost which forced the blonde to run down the halls once again at full speed. But this time, he tripped over a chain, which in turn, led a trap to be sprung which caused him to be ensnared and wrapped up in chains, rendering him completely immobile. As the entity approaches him he squeals in horror "NOOOOO! PLEASE DON'T EAT MY SOUL! WHATEVER I DID TO MAKE YOU ANGRY I'M SOOOOOOOOORRY!"

The white haired woman paused for a moment and spoke in a quiet voice "Oh dear. It seems I scared you. I'm so terribly sorry. Still… I guess you wouldn't recognize me would you? I've gone through some changes, and well… we met but a scarce few times."

The blonde boy stopped his struggling and took a closer look at the woman. She bore somewhat of a resemblance to someone he knew. The pieces slowly fell into place as he slowly asked "Are… you… Mikoto Uchiha-san?"

She clapped her hands together with a smile and replied back to him in a jovial tone "You do remember! I'm so glad!" she snapped her fingers causing the chains restraining the Uzumaki to release him, dumping him onto the floor.

He got up and dusted himself off asking "Why the hell were you chasing me? Why are you even here?"

Mikoto twirled a lock of her white hair and answered him "Well, to answer the Latter… I'm haunting the place. I thought it would be a matter of time before my nightly hauntings caught someone's attention and the Hokage would eventually see it investigated. Seems like that hasn't happened yet. Oh well! You're here now!"

"You… were haunting this place to talk to me? Why me? Why not Sasuke?" he asked in confusion.

She sighed and floated in the air, the chains tied to her limbs creaking in the air. "Well… to answer you, allow me to start from the beginning. It all started something like this…"

 **Flashback: Days after the Uchiha massacre**.

Mikoto's eyes snapped open, she looked about frantically, she couldn't see because of the darkness. "Heeeeeelp." She cried out in a hoarse voice, scrambling about in the cramped space, she leaned upward and found daylight beaming down on her. The sudden change of light blinding her.

She climbed out and stumbled onto the ground, in front of her she saw the silhouette of somebody. The ringing in her ears prevented her from hearing the words he was speaking, but she recognized the voice anyway. "Hokage-sama. Heeeeelp meee." She tried to call for help. But from what she could tell, he looked like he hadn't heard her.

Her vision and hearing returned to normal, she saw a large crowd of people gathered about in… a cemetery?

"We are gathered here today to honor and respect the memories of our fallen comrades, and neighbors. The members of the Uchiha clan whom…" Hiruzen spoke towards the crowd. All at once memories of THAT night flooded her mind, she slowly looked back and saw the grave that was marked with a headstone. A headstone that bore her name.

She reeled in shock and shook her head. She tried to get her bearings and then a single thought entered her mind "Sasuke-kun! Where's my child?" she asked herself, she tried to run into the crowd, but was pulled back towards her grave. Chains were latched onto her wrists and ankles, and the other end was buried beneath the ground.

She growled in frustration then decided to stand atop her headstone to give herself a slightly better view. She looked and looked but found no sign of her child. "Why isn't he here? Why isn't Sochi-kun here? OH! I know! Maybe he's hurt! Or maybe he's getting counseling! He might still be at the hospital! Yes! He'll come later when he's ready and there's no longer a large crowd hounding him!" she reasoned and sat on her grave.

As visitors of the funeral delivered flowers to her grave and the neighboring graves, she thanked everyone who came, even though they couldn't hear her. As the crowds dispersed Mikoto gained a better view at the EXACT number of graves. "Nonononononono! This is too many! Far too many! Is… is everyone truly gone? All those families. Men… women… children? Women that were pregnant? Itachi-kun… how could you do something so horrible?... DANZO! Danzo must be responsible for this! If… if Itachi-kun claimed the lives of Fugaku, and his conspirators, myself included despite my minimal role then… I would have understood…. BUT THIS IS GENOCIDE! ONLY DANZO WOULD DO SOMETHING SO CRUEL!" She wailed in despair. She sniffled and cried out "SASUKE-KUN! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Days passed by, sometimes some friends of hers like Tsume would come visit, leaving an offering at her grave such as her favorite snacks or booze. But still no sign of her son, she had for a while thought that her son had been murdered as well, but then she heard a group of passing Civilians talk about Sasuke returning to the Academy. "He is at the Academy but hasn't come to visit? Why? Oh! Maybe he isn't ready to face this yet! Maybe he still needs time to recover from the trauma! HANG IN THERE SOCHI-KUN! KAA-SAN WILL WAIT RIGHT HERE!" she yelled out.

More time passed, the days seemed to be blurring together. Time didn't seem to hold as much meaning while she is a spirit. One day she is entertaining herself by dancing about her grave, singing songs that came to memory. She stopped and heard a small voice speak out 'One for you. One for you. And you. Yes, you too. And one for you.'

She turned around and saw a familiar blonde boy giving flowers to the numerous graves. Naruto sighed and spoke to the graves "I think you all must be kinda sad no one comes to visit anymore. So, I'll come by every now and again and bring flowers! I know a great place to get these!." He passed flower after flower to the graves, eventually he came to her grave.

He placed a lily in front of her headstone and spoke down to it, as though he were trying to speak to her "Hi Mikoto-san. I know we never really knew each other… but I like to think I knew you as a good person. You were always nice to me whenever you came to pick Sasuke up from School. Well, I don't know how to say this… but I guess I'll say it anyway. To my knowledge, Sasuke has never come here right? I sometimes see him, sitting out on this dock by himself for whatever reason.

Earlier today he… he well… he beat me up during a class spar. He had me pinned down on the ground… and I got a good look into his eyes. They… were so cold. Empty maybe. I didn't see a single spark of happiness or joy. I know he lost his family and clan and everything but… he just… doesn't seem like the same guy from before the Massacre."

As he spoke, Mikoto sat on her headstone, listening intently to the Jinchuuriki giving her the news. He smiled and spoke to her grave again "Well, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with him! The wounds of the massacre might still be fresh in his mind. Maybe he'll get better later. Whelp, I promise to come by next weekend, give your family and friends and neighbors flowers, and I'll keep you updated about Sasuke. That's a promise! Bye for now!" he yelled and ran off out of the cemetery.

She giggled lightly at his antics and was truly appreciative of the gesture and the news. Maybe he was right. Maybe Sasuke needed more time.

Months passed by. Her awareness of time had grown dull. It is only by the full moon now can she even keep track of the months. Naruto had kept his promise and would return, giving flowers to her clan, and sharing news about her child.

The news she received was… disheartening. From what she understood, her child deliberately cut himself off from others, he was cold, distant, rude, and sometimes downright mean to others including those of higher authority. These days he even has a fan-club of girls who like him because of his coldness. He didn't even show any interest in any of the girls who practically threw themselves at his feet. And STILL during all this time she hadn't been visited by her child.

Mikoto now lost all hope and interest in Sasuke ever visiting. Now she looked forward to whenever Naruto-kun visited. His presence filled her existence with joy and happiness, some days… she wishes he were her child. Over time, her raven black hair had faded from black, to grey, then finally to white.

Then… he too stopped visiting. She became worried for him he never stopped visiting before. She wondered if something had happened to him. One day he came rushing up to her grave with a backpack, and… a headband on his head. "OH! So that's where you've been! You must've been busy with missions!" she exclaimed even though he couldn't hear her. She never felt prouder for the boy and wished she could wrap him up in a hug.

The blonde bowed to her and spoke to her grave "I'm very sorry for not visiting the past two weeks!"

"Two weeks? That's all? Felt longer than that… or was it shorter? My sense of time is really screwed to hell." She muttered to herself but then she sighed and sat on her grave, eager to listen to her Naruto-kun. Wait… HER Naruto-kun? She smiled and thought that had a nice ring to it.

"… and today me, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi-sensej will be going on our first C-rank mission." The blonde spoke to her grave with a grin, his eyes filled with a sense of naiveté, which would be stomped out with the death of a certain swordsman and ice user later on.

"Wait… what?! NARUTO-KUN! YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN A GENIN FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOU'RE GOING ON A C-RANK! YOU CAN'T! YOU AREN'T READY FOR THAT!" she screamed in horror, trying to grip his shoulders, but she kept passing through him.

"Bye Mikoto-san. I'm not sure when I'll ever come back. But… I enjoyed the times I got to bring you flowers and the uh 'talks' we had." He spoke as he began to march off.

"NARUTO-KUN! COME BACK! COME BACK HERE! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO! WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE BEEN MY CHILD?! NARUTO-KUN!" she screamed, lunging towards him to try and stop him, the chains kept her from leaving but she would not be deterred! She wouldn't give in! She pulled and pulled and pulled. For hours, days even, she would not stop pulling, biting and yanking on her goddamned chains!

Finally, one night, in her anger she created a bluish green fire that melted clean through her chains, like a red hot knife through butter. Her pulling combined with the sudden release of her chains, caused her to fall, but it was then when she found herself floating above the ground she learned of her ability to fly.

"YAY! I'M FREE! NOW I CAN FIND MY NARUTO-KUN AND… wait… where is he anyway?" she muttered to herself. Not knowing where he went. She crossed her arms and puffed her cheeks in frustration. She then took note of the Uchiha compound a short ways off.

She smiled to herself, a light bulb blinking over her head "I know! I'll haunt the compound while crying out for Naruto-kun and use those flames… what do I call them? Ah! Will o Wisps! I'll use my Will o Wisps to attract people and scare them a bit! If someone hears a ghost calling for Naruto-kun then they might send him to investigate! Yes! HANG ON NARUTO-KUN! I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU!"

 **End flashback**.

"All that time… you were waiting for me?" asked Naruto with a blush.

The spirit of Mikoto nodded and kissed his forehead "I wanted to say… Thank you. For the flowers, for visiting and… talking to me. You're more special to me than you know. Now… I can be at peace and move on. OH! Before I pass on there's one more thing I need to do! Bye bye Sochi-kun! I love you!" she said to him then flew off.

The whiskered boy blushed and whispered to himself "She… called me… Sochi-kun."

A series of loud crashes occurred, he looked behind him and Neko was on the floor, panting, her clothes, hair and mask all disheveled. "FINALLY! I GOT OUT! IT WAS HORRIBLE! GENJUTSU! SUNSETS! HUGGING! YOUTH! WAVES CRASHING! THE HORROOOOOOOOOOOR!" she screamed out slamming her head to the floor, tears leaking from her masks eyeholes.

He was about to walk up to her to help her up, but was stopped by a voice that spoke "Sup bouya?" he turned around and spotted Kuroko… holding Hinata in a bridal carry with Tayuya standing next to her. What more is, that Kuro's shirt was missing leaving her in a bra.

The blonde blushed and asked "Kuroko-san! What happened? Is that blood on your face? And… where is your shirt?"

The Lesbian serial killer answered him while tilting her head to an odd angle "Well bouya, I met someone I needed to kill. My little princess here was stumbling about all lost and confused from the loss of blood, so I tore up my shirt to patch her up. Me and sailor mouth were locked in a room for awhile."

He nodded at the explanation then saw Konan approach nursing numerous bruises, a busted lip, and a swollen eye. "Holy shit! You get put through a fucking ringer?" yelped Tayuya in surprise.

"You could say that." Replied Konan, now wishing she had an ice pack.

""Hey gang!" yelled the voice of Anko as she strolled up in all her glory. At the sight of her, Kuroko developed a nasty nosebleed as she giggled perversely. Naruto turned towards the snake user and blushed beet red, he pointed at her and yelped "ANKO-CHAN! WHAT DA FUQ?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CLOTHES… AND WHAT IS ALL THAT BLACK STUFF COVERING YOU?!"

The snake user smiled and replied while not bothering to cover herself "Oh this? I think it's ink. And well… my clothes got shredded." Naruto nodded and took off his jacket, allowing her to cover herself with it. "Aww. Such a gentleman." She spoke and kissed him on the lips, smearing his lips with ink.

"So….. does this mean Anko and Konan's team win?" remarked Tayuya… who didn't swear this time

"I guess this does! Haha!" yelled the snake user in victory. Konan gave a half hearted thumbs up since she is now physically and emotionally drained.

"In either event, this is gonna make a hell of a ghost story to tell the class." Spoke the blonde with a large grin as they left the compound.

"Damn straight! Kin is gonna fucking piss herself about this!" yelled Tayuya with a grin, pumping her fist in the air.

 **The next day.**

After, taking Hinata and Konan to get treatment the rest of his class went home for the night. As well as Naruto himself. He is now waking up to the sound of his doorbell being rung repeatedly. After a long stressful night, he wasn't in the mood for this. He grabbed the nearest object he could find so he could throw it at whoever was ringing his doorbell.

He swung the door open and found Neko standing there, in her full Anbu attire. "Good morning Naruto-sensei. The Hokage asked me to collect you. He is waiting in his office. Please be dressed and ready as swiftly as possible. It is important."

He only nodded, not bothering to argue if she was here on official business. He threw on some clothes, making note to use his new salary to buy better clothes. When he finished, he walked up to her with a nod. She nodded back and took him by the hand, and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

They then arrived in the Hokage's office. Hiruzen sat at his desk, holding a scroll with the Uchiha crest attached, which had the note 'For Sasuke and Naruto.'

Speaking of Sasuke, he was sitting in a chair, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. "Morning Jiji. What's all this about?" asked Naruto as Neko ushered him to a seat in front of the desk.

"Well, it would seem that erm… Mikoto Uchiha's will has been… recently found. It is addressed specifically to you two. With your permission I shall read the contents of the will." He explained, still surprised at how the Will had been found… on his desk of all places for no apparent reason. But the mark and signature of Mikoto were a match, so it was legit.

Both boys glared at each other, but nodded towards the Hokage anyway. Sasuke was curious why his mother named the Dobe of all people on the Will.

Hiruzen nodded and tore the seal, opening the scroll he began to read the contents "I, Mikoto Uchiha, Matriarch of my clan, of sound mind and body, bequeath all of my earthly possessions to Naruto Uzumaki He shall inherit the Uchiha compound and all of its holdings and bank accounts of all deceased members of my clan. Should the bank accounts be, emptied by the Civilian council members or Elders, the funds shall be taken out of their pockets, plus interest. Additionally I leave to you the entire Uchiha Jutsu library.

For Sasuke, I leave you the family photographs and Fugaku's savings from BEFORE he became clan head. Additionally, I hereby disavow you from the Uchiha name and records. You, are henceforth, no longer an Uchiha."

When the Hokage had finished, Sasuke leapt from his seat and roared in rage "WHAAAAAT? MY MOTHER LEAVES EVERYTHING TO AN ORPHAN AND I'M LEFT WITH ONLY A PITTANCE?! THAT'S NOT FAIR! THAT WILL IS A FORGERY!"

The Hokage cleared his throat and spoke "I am surprised as you are Sasuke-san. Believe me. I also had this scroll checked for any signs of forgery as well. The signature and wax seal all are legit. This will is the real thing. And the will has now been spoken. I shall see that everything be carried out accordingly. Including stripping your name from the Uchiha records… I'm not sure why Mikoto would request such a thing. But I get the feeling it wasn't without reason. Naruto-kun, I'm aware you visited the compound last night, but I think you may wish to better inspect it during the daylight."

With that, the Jinchuuriki nodded with glee and took his Anbu student with him. After picking up the rest of his class and informing them of what transpired, he officially declared that his new home, would henceforth be the Official School for Class D.

With a cheer, his class followed him back towards the compound, bow believing that perhaps the Spirit of Mikoto was now at rest.

When they arrived, they spotted… the last thing they had expected to see. Standing in front of the entrance was Mikoto herself… in a Shrine maiden outfit, sweeping away fallen leaves at the entrance, birds gathered around her and chirping happily.

"Wow… so the story WAS true. Cool." Muttered Samui in surprise.

Mikoto looked up and waved at the class "Good morning everyone! I am so sorry for the trpuble you went through last night. My hauntings caused some bad stuff to ooze into the compound. I tried to keep it clear of evil things, but they kept coming back! Whatever it was you did here, all the bad spirits are gone now! I look forward to you staying here!"

At this the class yelled "PASS ON TO THE OTHER SIDE ALREADY!"

The spirit sweat-dropped and replied "I… I erm… tried. I saw this HUGE tunnel of light and passed through it, ready to embrace eternity! But… I erm… well… I ended up back here again. But, I can now solidify my form enough to touch stuff, I can even hold a physical form pretty easily." She exclaimed happily.

"This class… just got a lot weirder. What's next? A vampire? A mercenary for hire? A demonic circus perfomer?!" yelled Natsuhi while tugging at her hair.

"Well… if Mikoto-san there's only one thing to do." Spoke Naruto as he crossed his arms. His class all raise their eyebrows, wondering what he meant.

 **Minutes later.**

"Naruto-kun… let me get this right, one more time. You. Want to add another student to your class roster. One Mikoto Uchiha, who's long been dead and who's will was read but barely an hour ago?" asked the Hokage with a sweatdrop.

The blonde nodded and replied "That is absolutely correct. She said I should give you this too." He handed over a piece of paper to the aged Hokage. Hiruzen unfolded it and founded it to be blank, before he could ask if there was some kind of sick joke involved, a crimson mark appeared on the paper. The mark began expanding and eventually became kanji which read 'Admit me or I'll haunt you forever and whisper certain… disturbing images into your ears as you sleep.'

The Hokage sweated nervously then exclaimed "BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME AS HOKAGE OF KONOHA, I HEREBY APPROVE OF THIS BOLD NEW ADDITION TO CLASS D'S ROSTER!" with that, he stamped a mark of approval on Mikoto Uchiha's file. Labeling her as an 'active' Kunoichi again.

Naruto thanked the Hokage for his assistance and headed back to the compound. It would need some fixing up. But it'd be perfect for his class to learn, and have clubs as well. And… he kind of looked forward to whatever crazy adventures he and his class might have next.

 **End chapter three.**

 **A/N: HOLY SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE SUCH A LARGE UPDATE! Heh, I know it feels kinda rushed at the end. But I really wanted to get this chapter out. I hope you enjoyed this new addition to Uzumaki classroom. Reviews are much appreciated.**

 **Next time: After what some of his students went through during the Uchiha hauntings, Naruto declares it time for Class D to take some time off classes and have a break. He and Kuroko go on ahead to book lodging at a cabin on a small island, there they encounter a new threat.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Nothing much to say here. Please review, please check out my petition on my profile and check out the stories of my friend Bramha god.**

 **This one goes out to my girlfriends Kiana (AKA Kape, my Waifu.) and Carly (AKA Bum Bums, my Dyke.)**

 **Chapter four: Beware the Tanuki! (Part one.)**

"Uwaaaaa! It is such a beautiful day!" spoke Mikoto as she swept the entrance of the Uchiha compound. She swept away the dust and leaves, birds were happily chirping near her. She giggled softly and whispered to herself "I wonder what Naruto-kun will be announcing today? I'm so excited to be a part of this class. I need to work hard for Naruto-kun since he'll be my new sensei!" she giggled and adjusted her Miko outfit.

Suddenly the birds began to chirp angrily some were flying about her head to get her attention. "What's wrong little birdies? Are you trying to say something?" she asked the little birds. Ever since her joining Class D, it seemed that birds had a kind of… connection to her.

She absent-mindedly swept until she heard a voice speak "Hey woman. Is the Dobe here?"

She turned in the direction of the voice and saw that it belonged to her now disavowed son, Sasuke. "Excuse me young man?" she asked with a twitching eyebrow.

He gave a 'Hn' sound and spoke with his trademark 'I'm better than you' tone of voice "Pay attention woman. I am Sasuke UCHIHA. And the Dobe has no right to be living in what is rightfully mine. Now being the dobe out here."

The white-haired spirit thrust the broom handle into his face and spoke in a sickly sweet tone "First off, that is no way to address a lady. It is 'ma'am.' Secondly, I don't know anyone called 'Dobe' so unless you give me a proper name, I won't be able to help you." The twitching of her eyebrow increased further at the fact her son hadn't identified her.

"Hn. Naruto Uzumaki. Now where is he?" the Uchiha demanded while flashing his Sharingan in an act of intimidation… which was shut down as Mikoto swept some dust into his face by 'accident'. The Uchiha rubbed furiously at his eyes to get the itching feeling to stop.

"I'm afraid that Class is going to start in a few minutes and Sensei will be Unable to see you. Please leave immediately, you are trespassing." Mikoto spoke with a sweet smile that promised pain.

Sasuke angrily stamped his foot like a bratty child and spat at her "I won't forget this!"

Mikoto sighed and swiped at him with her broom, hitting him on the back. "Go. Shoo. Away with you!" she yelled as she continued hitting him with her broom until he finally left. When the white-haired woman turned around Yugito stood in the entrance with a bag of chips and spoke to her new classmate "He was driven off with a BROOM. That tells me he has been COMPLETELY dismissed as a threat. Anyway, Sensei asked me to get you."

The White haired woman put her broom aside and entered the Compound, the Class had been assembled in the Courtyard which now looked much healthier since it was now being taken care of.

Naruto cleared his throat and announced "Hello Class. I have several things I would like to address. First, thank you Mikoto for allowing us to use the Compound for Class D." the class applauded to show their appreciation and Mikoto blushed from the praise.

"Second, thanks to an egregious amount of funds acquired from Mikoto's Will, I have decided to take the entire class out on a vacation." He finished causing the entire class to break out in a series of cheers. The blonde boy quieted them down and spoke "As your Sensei, I request that someone accompany me to the chosen Vacation spot… because well, I am gonna need a little help in arranging the booking."

The class all chuckled a bit, then they realized that despite their Sensei's maturity he was still a boy. Kuroko raised up her hand and spoke "I'll go with ya Sensei. I know a good place. Small island in Kiri territory. Log cabins, beaches, remote and quiet. Nice place."

The class all murmured their agreements and Naruto spoke to his class "Sounds perfect. Me and Kuroko shall go on ahead and make arrangements. The rest of you get ready for your vacation! Class dismissed!" with a cheer the Kunoichi all went to back their bags for the trip.

Kuroko draped an arm over the blonde, her long tongue licking his cheek. "Looks like it's gonna be you and me for awhile Bouya." He shivered slightly at the feeling of her tongue… but oddly… it felt rather nice. He smiled and could only nod as they went to pack as well.

 **Meanwhile**.

Danzo sat in his private office, looking over recent intel provided by his ROOT agents. His two bodyguards stood by, the orange haired one speaking "I don't see why you're so concerned over the Kyuubi brat Danzo-sama."

The Elder gripped his cane and spoke in cold manner "You fail to see the bigger picture you fool. The Uzumaki is now the current Sensei of Class D. Among his students are the Clan Heiresses for the Yamanaka, Hyuuga, and Inuzuka clans. The National Executioner of Kiri, Kuroko Koumori. Suspected Akatsuki member Konan. Temari and Kurotsuchi, both direct relatives of their respective Kages. Two other Jinchuuriki named Yugito and Fuu. Ameyuri Ringo, one of the seven swordsman. And most recently has inherited the Uchiha compound, its fortune and Jutsu library.

All of which enable him ENORMOUS influence should he choose to exercise it. Fortunately he is not yet aware of this. The most prudent course of action would be to neutralize this growing threat before it festers. It is a good thing I have already invested in this."

At the end of the explanation the other guard asked the Elder "You mean that mercenary from the West?"

Danzo nodded stiffly and explained further "Correct. She came highly recommended. Exceptionally skilled specialist despite no Kunoichi training. She is good at what she does… and even better at maintaining her silence."

 **Days later.**

"So this is it huh?" asked Naruto sporting a pair of red and black swim trunks. Standing next to him was Kuroko who was wearing a… somewhat skimpy bikini that was red with a white floral pattern. She was busy checking out the other people on the beach, most particularly the females on the beach. There weren't many people around, only twelve including Naruto and Kuroko.

"Hehehe. Nice Ebony babes. That one looks like she works out." She muttered with a perverted grin.

Naruto shook his head in amusement and spoke "Knock yourself out already. I won't stop ya since we're supposed to be on vacation."

Kuroko smiled widely and dropped a whistle in his hand "Thanks bouya. Here, if ya ever need my help. Blow that and I'll come running. Now if ya don't mind. I'm gonna hook up with the ladies."

With that said she approaches the two dark-skinned women a certain sway in her step as she greeted them "Hey ladies. Kuroko Koumori. So very lovely to see you. Are you perhaps sisters?"

The two glanced at each other, one of them replying "Nah. We're actually together. We also have a boyfriend but it's a long distance type relationship for now. But I digress, call me Kiana. And this is Carly."

Carly stood up with a small smirk and greeted Kuroko "Nice to meet you. Buuuut if you're here to shamelessly flirt with us, we aren't interested. Our boyfriend would get jealous."

The black haired woman chortled, a small nosebleed emerging as she asked "Ooh! A love triangle? How bold. Where's your boyfriend?"

Carly was about to answer, but a hand was slapped over her mouth by Kiana who whispered "We aren't supposed to tell them that Bum bums! Hanta-kun said 'bad things would happen'. Anyway, don't mind her. Everything is perfectly normal!"

Both Naruto and Kuroko sweat-dropped at the odd exchange and slowly backed away. Then turned on their heels and worked further along the beach "Okay. That was a little weird. What's up with them?" the Jinchuuriki asked while scratching his head.

"Got me. Think they smoke something. Anyway, I think I'll try someone else." Commented Kuroko who was also a little weirded out by the… conversation. With a shrug the blonde decided to check out the Cabin area. It was a short walk up the beach till he came upon the Cabin.

It was exceptionally large, and looked quite cozy. Entering inside he found the furniture was handmade and quite exquisite. As though it has been made by a professional. Sitting in the corner was a stuffed bear with a hat and green tie, with a plaque that read 'Yogi Bear. Iconic cartoon. Horrible movie.'

The blonde scratched his head and mumbled "Who the hell put this here?" he leaned over to try and find out who might have killed this bear, but then a 'zwip' sound flew past him. He stood up in surprise and looked about for the source of the noise but couldn't see it. He merely shrugged and set about exploring the Cabin, unknown to him, a dart had been imbedded in the wall behind him.

He went towards the kitchen and found it to be fully stocked. He wondered if the manager or owner of the Cabin stocked it. A shadow then passed over the blonde, making him turn around… and see a figure in the window. It was someone wearing a snarling Tanuki mask, the large headed kind that a sports team mascot may wear, with a red bandana and overalls. The Tanuki tapped on the window with a giant cleaver making Naruto scream in terror and blow the whistle Kuroko had given him and run back out towards the beach.

The blonde then bumped into somebody on the way, it was that Carly woman from before. "Whoa! Easy there! Where's the fire?" she asked, evidently unfazed by him crashing into her.

The blonde then began jabbering unintelligibly in panic as he pointed towards the Cabin. "What's that? I can't understand what you're saying." She spoke in a confused manner.

"Hey Bum Bums. What's up with him?" asked Kiana as she appeared from behind Carly.

"Dunno. He almost seems to be speaking words of some kind." Replied the Dyke as she stared down at the whiskered teen who screamed in frustration and continued his babbling.

"What's that? The barns on fire? Timmy is stuck in the well? Paz was blown up?" asked Kiana as she tried to make sense of what the blonde was trying to say.

"Who the hell is Paz?" asked Kuroko as she appeared from the woods. Her hair now disheveled since she ran as fast as she could when the blonde blew the whistle.

"I don't know! I was just guessing… WAIT! I got an idea!" yelled Kiana as she brought out a tape recorder from her bag, then clicked on the appropriate button then presented it to Naruto to speak into. He nodded and babbled into the speaker in a rapid manner before finally taking a breath.

Kiana then rewound the recording and began to play it back in slow motion "I was checking out the Cabin up the way, when suddenly a scary person dressed like a Tanuki tapped at the window with a cleaver. So I blew the whistle for help and came running out as fast as I could."

The three sweat-dropped for a moment before the Lesbian killer asked "You hit your head or something Sensei?"

The blonde's response was to slap Kuroko across the cheek and yell "I KNOW WHAT I SAW! IT WAS A GODDAMN TANUKI MAN!"

"Just checking." Replied the Kiri Executioner as she rubbed her cheek. Slightly aroused that Naruto was so… forceful.

"Okaaaaay, let's go check the Cabin out. Might be something in there. Hey Kape, you think this is why Big boy put us…" Carly began to ask but was cut off by her girlfriend.

"Bum bums! We aren't supposed to talk about that!" Kiana snapped in order to keep her girlfriend from saying too much. After an awkward silence the four made their way over to the Cabin and set about searching it from top to bottom.

"Sooooo what do ya do by the way?" asked Naruto as he tried to get to know his new companions.

"Me? I'm a business Tycoon. I travel all over the place for my work. Our boyfriend tends to get lonely. But CBum Bums keeps him… company." Giggled the Business Tycoon with a small blush.

"I used to be Kape's pool girl. But she made me stop working. And hey, I might be a Lesbian Dyke, but I certainly love my Big boy. Heheheh." The now revealed Dyke answered with a smile.

"Hold on. A business tycoon, a pool girl, together. Plus a long distance boyfriend? And you Carly are a Dyke? And… what's with the nicknames?" Naruto asked with a confused expression.

"Crazy right? You'd think we were part of a manga or something. Hahaha. Yep, that's the gist of it." Answered Kiana with a chortle.

"I'm confused." Muttered the blonde as he tried to open a door… only to find it locked. He raised an eyebrow and curiosity and attempted to kick the door in, his foot landing with a thud, but the door didn't budge. "Damn. They always make it look easy in the movies." He commented with a frown.

"That's kicking the door in? KICK the fucking door in, like this!" Carly spoke before planting her foot in the door making it break in two. "Really put your weight behind it damn it." She clarified and stepped inside. A wide eyed expression crossed her face as she spoke "Umm… people? I think you need to see this."

They all peered inside and found several sets of Snarling Tanuki masks with the appropriate costumes of Overalls and red bandanas around the neck. There was also a wide assortment of weapons in a display cabinet. Further in the back is a series of miniature television screens, showing camera footage all across the island. "Umm. Is this what I think it is?" asked the tycoon with a small shudder.

"Yep. This looks like the kind of lair a Serial killer might have. I'd say we walked into a tourist trap. A literal one. Hahaha!" Kuroko laughed while twirling a lock of her hair.

"YOU DON'T SOUND VERY SURPRISED KUROKO!" Naruto yelled out while comically slapping ay the air.

The Kiri Executioner smiled and spoke in a cheeky tone "Wellll, I might have forgotten to mention that this island was home to an unidentified killer. Sorry Sensei, but this is work related. My Mizukage asked me to track down and put an end to the Killer preying on tourists on this island."

The blonde screamed out "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU ASK FOR TIME OFF OF CLASS D FOR WORK RELATED ISSUES?"

"Cuz, I wanted to spend time with you Sensei, and this is way more fun." Replied Kuroko while licking her lips.

"Wow. And I thought Big boy had a screw loose for dropping us here… wait a sec… HE PUT US HERE ON AN ISLAND WITH A SERIAL KILLER?! WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND DOES THAT?!" screamed the Dyke in a fit of anger.

"Easy now Carly. I don't think he'd put us here if he thought we couldn't handle it. He does say he knows we can 'handle ourselves' and all that." Spoke Kiana trying to soothe her girlfriend.

"Fine. But I swear, if he kills me off for cockblocking him, I'll haunt him forever and kick his ass!" yelled the Dyke while cracking her knuckles. Causing both Sensei and student to sweat-drop at the odd exchange. Naruto sighed and picked up one of the Tanuki masks to inspect it, he also put the mask on his head only to find the mask was too big. But interestingly there was some kind of speaker in the mask, possibly to filter the wearer's voice.

He heard a small 'thunk' sound and removed the mask, he looked about but found nothing, he merely shrugged and placed the mask back on the shelf… revealing a dart stuck in the side of the mask. "Okay. We have a psycho on the loose and we have no idea how to track him. I guess we should hunker down in this cabin and ambush him." The blonde suggested then the group heard a strange noise… like a little girl crying.

This gained their attention so they decided to investigate. Heading upstairs they checked the various doors until they found one that was locked at the end of the hall. With a nod, Carly kicked down the door revealing a small girl huddled in the corner and chained to the wall. Her hair was black as the new moon, her eyes held a red wine color, and her skin was pale as though she hadn't seen sunlight for weeks. She was dressed in a tattered child's hospital gown. From her physical appearance it could be determined she was between the ages of about Nine to Twelve.

"Th… that goddamm perv! He's keeping this kid as a sex slave or something!" yelled the Dyke in outrage, finding a key hanging near the door, she snatched it up and proceeded to unlock the shackles around the girls ankles. The girl however let out a snarl and bit at the Ebony Dyke's fingers.

"OW! SON OF A BITCH! SHE BIT ME!" yelled Carly as she clutched her bitten fingers. Her girlfriend inspected the injuries for a few moments.

"Please. Barely drew any blood. You must have scared her." Spoke Kiana while shaking her head.

The Dyke glared at the girl in the corner for a moment and grumbled "Whatever. It still fucking hurt." She was about to pass off the key to someone else but found she had dropped it on the floor. The crimson eyed girl retrieved the key and released herself from her shackles. They fell to the floor with a clink and the girl approached Naruto and hugged him tight, burying her face into his chest.

"Huh. She seems to like you bouya." Commented Kuroko with a teasing grin.

The blonde merely shrugged and turned his attention to the girl asking her "What's your name?" the girl's crimson eyes glanced at the other females before she leaned towards the blonde's ear and whispering her name. Naruto smiled and replied "Shizukesa huh? That's a cool name."

"HELP ME! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP!" a male voice from outside screamed from outside. The suddenness of the scream made the group jump in place and realize that the Tanuki guy might be following whoever it was that was screaming.

"In horror films, running off into the woods is a bad idea. The woods are the killer's backyard! They always find you! I say we barricade ourselves in this cabin and ambush the bastard." Kiana suggested.

"Good idea. I'm not gonna run around in the woods in my bikini anyway." Muttered Kuroko with a smile. The group dispersed to begin barricading the Cabin, in the midst of it they took notice the screaming guy from before ran last the cabin and went headlong into the woods.

Carly however was rummaging through the weapons racks of the Killer and took note of the costumes "Hmmmmmmm. This gives me an idea." The Dyke muttered with a small grin. A light bulb flashing over her head.

 **Meanwhile**.

"Do you think Naruto-sensei is okay?" asked one Natsuhi in a worried tone since both Naruto and Kuroko hadn't checked in or notified them of any changes as of late.

"What? You worried about your fucking boy toy? Heheh. Slutty Milf." Commented Tayuya with a lecherous grin as she cleaned her flute.

"SHUT UP! I'M NOT INTO LITTLE BOYS!" screamed the purple haired Kunoichi in a fit of anger. The rest of the class snickering at this exchange. In the background Mikoto was serving tea to her classmates and spoke "I can't blame Natsuhi-san. Things are so boring here without Naruto-kun. The only entertainment I have is chasing off Sasuke."

"Wait, that guy keeps coming around yet still he doesn't recognize his own mother?" asked Kurenai while painting a picture of Anko and Hana in a nude embrace. Much to Anko's amusement at showing Naruto an erotic painting later, and Hana's own embarrassment. Though Kurenai was considering adding in either Fuu or Karui to add a dark skinned woman in for extra measure.

"Indeed. I can't seem to figure out why either." Replied the White haired ghost with a sweat-drop. Then, outside in the courtyard, the sounds of thunder came prompting the ladies to check outside. Standing in a small crater was a girl wearing an Anbu Uniform and a Raven type mask.

The unidentified Anbu pushed her mask aside and placed a pair of spectacles on her head. "I am seeking Naruto Uzumaki, Sensei of Class D. Is he here?" the spectacled girl asked in a tone of authority.

"Friend of yours?" asked Ryuzetsu as she glanced at Neko. The purple haired Anbu merely ahrugged her shoulders and answered "Never seen her before."

The Raven Anbu saluted and spoke out "My name is Sarada Uchiha. Yes, Uchiha. Child of Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. I have been sent directly from the future, my mission is to protect the future and avert the coming Crisis."

The Class was stunned into silence for a few moments. "Ummm… Sarada is it? What… exactly have you been taking?" asked Yugito with a stunned expression.

"I assure you that I am very much from the future." Was all the spectacled girl said.

"What's the future like?" asked Anko in curiosity, not bothering to cover her nude body.

"Not well. Not well at all. Sometime during Naruto-sama's training trip with Jiraiya, the Sannin planted a seal that screwed up Naruto-sama's moral compass. Turning him into a tyrannical pacifist that forgives everyone. Thus allowing Orochimaru to go free and continue his inhumane experiments, Konoha was never brought to justice for its crimes, rape, murder, and molestation of children ran rampant through the streets. Law is not enforced, and ultimately the Elemental Nations self destructed under the weak rule under the evils of Pacifism." Ranted the girl as anime tears fell down her face.

"Wow. This chick has a fucking screw loose and then some." Commented Tayuya while scratching at her head.

"Should we… get help?" asked Konan in a slightly worried tone. She had dealt with enough unstable personalities and psychos to last a lifetime. But this was a new one.

"Maybe we should… wait for Naruto-sensei to come back?" suggested Karin as she adjusted her glasses. Making the rest of the class nod in agreement.

 **Back with Naruto.**

The blonde and his group had just finished barricading the Cabin, aside from the occasional screams from outside, no signs of the Tanuki had been spotted. Naruto sat with his back against the wall, sitting next to him was Kuroko.

"Ya know what I do bouya?" asked the black haired woman as her head tilts to an odd angle. The blonde was caught off guard by the sudden question but merely shrugged.

Kuroko then began to explain herself "715. That's the number of known victims I claimed in Kiri. Least that's what I was told. Never kept a kill count or score card. I was on Death Row, waiting for my execution. Then the Rebels took down the Yondaime Mizukage Yagura, and then the New Mizukage had to process everything. Finally, she found me. Offered me a job. I handle the suicide missions or take out… undesirables. That's what I do."

"I see." Was all the blonde could say as he processed this information. Stunned that one of his students was a serial killer. But he… no matter how he looked at Kuroko… she wasn't all bad. Their little 'moment' was interrupted by Kiana who sat down next to them asking in a surprisingly cheerful tone "What's up? Having a moment?"

The whiskered teen looked over to Kiana and spoke "Ma'am. I don't know where you're from, who your boyfriend is, or if you're crazy or not. But when this is over… I hope we NEVER meet again."

"I'm crazy? You've got an entire harem's worth of babes waiting for you in your class. Hahah." She replied with a grin.

"Wait a sec… I don't remember telling you anything about that." Naruto spoke, taking note that she knew about his class. Kiana's mouth fell open realizing her slip up and was about to retort but then she sniffed the air.

"You smell smoke?" she asked as a smoke detector began to go off and rang loudly. "THE DAMN TANUKI IS GOING TO SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE!" Kuroko shouted as they tried to pull apart the front door barricade, as the top of the barricade came undone, they saw the Killer armed with a spear gun, launch a harpoon at them. Kuroko ducked in time as a barrage of harpoons came flying over the barricade, the couch they were using to shore it up becoming a pincushion.

"The bastard has us pinned down!" Naruto yelled, they couldn't go out the front since the Killer was armed to the teeth and waiting for them. The back was a no go since smoke was beginning to creep into the halls. The blonde then notice that Shizukesa was crawling along the floor. A kitchen knife in hand, from her expression, she seemed ready to charge out and throw her life away.

He threw himself on top of her and pinned her down to prevent a rash action, "Don't Kesa-chan! We'll find another way! You deserve a chance to live!" he shouted out in am effort to reason with her. Then suddenly a yelp of pain came from outside as the Killer dropped his spear gun and was reaching for something on his back. It appeared to be some kind of dart.

"NOW'S OUR CHANCE! RUN OUT AND SCATTER!" Naruto yelled, prompting his companions to nod and leap over the barricade and rush into the woods. Kiana ran off on her own while Kuroko took Shizukesa, and Naruto also ended up on his own.

Kiana was rushing through the bushes and ducking branches then skidded to a halt as she realized something "WHERE THE FUCK IS CARLY?" she screamed and turned around to find her girlfriend… only to be met with the snarling Tanuki mask of the Killer who was wielding a baton. With a yelp, she delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to the Killer's stomach, knocking the wind out of him as he fell to the ground, and she ran off into the woods to gain some distance. The Tanuki masked person got up and dusted off their overalls and muttered in a mechanical voice "Damn that hurt. How the fuck am I supposed to see out of this thing? Now… where'd she go?"

 **With Naruto.**

"Damn it! I don't even know where the hell I am going." The blonde muttered to himself as he ran, then for no real reason he tripped on something and his face planted directly into the ground. He groaned as he slowly got up and found his eyes staring at a pair of combat boots.

His eyes slowly looked up as he noted a scantily clad woman standing over him, her green eyes staring down at him as she quietly regarded him for a few moments. "Who… are you?" he asked in a hesitant manner.

She blinked a few times and cocked her head to the side "…"

"Your name's Quiet?" he asked as he seemingly understood her despite her not saying anything.

She quirked up an eyebrow as she knelt down to him "..?"

"What the hell do you mean 'How can you understand me?'. You're talking aren't you?" he asked as he tried to get up. Quiet however clocked him on the head with the butt of her rifle, knocking him out. She rubbed her chin for a moment as if deciding on what to do next. She had been hired by that old man to capture this boy alive but she didn't see the point to it, but a job was a job.

Her first two attempts at capture failed by a bit of bad luck. Was it providence or was the kid born under a lucky star? She couldn't tell. But something about him caught her interest. Tapping her rifle a few times she grabbed him by the foot and dragged him off into the woods. She looked up and noted storm clouds were coming. She looked up at the darkening clouds and silently hoped that it might rain

 **End Chapter four.**

 **A/N: Yeah. I know. First I put in my girlfriends then I added in Quiet from Metal Gear as another Guest character. Why? Cuz I fucking felt like it is why. Whine cry and complain all you want, but that's how it is. You can either like it and keep on reading, or don't like it and be a bigger man/woman and move on to something more to your liking. Thank you.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: As promised to my girlfriend Carly. I have updated this fic. Anyway's I am considering on doing a rewrite for Beast Shinobi. The initial chapter was both surprisingly popular despite it being short and a rush job. I feel I could expand on it and maybe try and do better. Anyway, enjoy this chapter and please leave lots of reviews.**

 **Chapter Five: Beware the Tanuki! (Part two.)**

"Ohhhhhhhh. My fucking head." The blonde muttered as he cane to. He could feel his cheek pressed against cold steel, when his vision came into focus he surmised that he was on a boat, his hands bound by zip ties. Sitting in front of him was the Mercenary Quiet, her eyes staring down at him, filled with a sense of curiosity.

She crouched down and crawled over to him in a cat like manner. Her gaze never leaving his. When she got up close to him, she picked him up and propped him against a crate, then drew a knife and pressed the blade to his cheek. "..?"

Naruto swallowed hard, but replied calmly "No. I'm not going to beg. Who sent you?" She withdrew the combat knife and sheathed it. Getting up she began to make preparations to leave this accursed island. "Hey! The hell do you want with me?" he yelled at her to get her attention. She merely ignored him as she hummed a bit, checking to see if the gas tank on the ship was full.

See no other way out, he lunged from behind her, and used his bonds to try and choke her, instead she managed to flip him over her shoulders and plant him on the floor. When his back impacted against the floor, the wind was knocked out of him, blurring his vision. A small click sound occurred as she aimed her sidearm at his head.

"Can you blame me?" He asked simply, referring to his escape attempt. She blinked a few times then holstered her weapon and punched the blonde square in the jaw making him spit up blood and saliva. She picked him up and held him by the collar, looking him square in the eyes "…"

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine? Sorry Quiet-san. But whoever your boss is… I'm not going. And you really think this is the first time someone tried tying me up?" The blonde asked while raising his hands, showing he was now loose from his bonds. A skill he picked up when escaping from various Chunin who chased him for his pranks. In one swift movement he ziptied Quiets hands and kicked her in the chest, sending her over the edge of the boat.

She flipped over and managed to grab hold of the anchor's chain, keeping her from falling completely into the water. But the Salt water was already burning thr skin on her legs, the feeling of suffocation setting in. Above her, the whiskered teen peered over checking to see if she had fallen. "..!"

"Help you? You tried to kidnap me!" the blonde yelled angrily. Quiet winced in pain, the burning felt horrible, her ability to keep her grip leaving her "..!"

"What? You can't swim?" he asked in mild surprise. The woman's pleading seemed… sincere. Almost desperate even. Quiet slipped slightly on the chains, more of her body falling into the water, the saltiness scalding her skin, forcing hot tears from her eyes. "..!"

In Naruto's head he felt a voice say 'Leave her' but his heart was telling him to help her. He could see in her eyes… that she didn't want to die. Cursing himself he tossed down a length of rope to her. The mercenary, let go of the chains then grabbed it, unable to pull herself up due to her bonds on her wrists. signaling to pull her up. Naruto grunted and began to pull her up from the water until at last she was back on deck.

Quiet's vision was blurry, her skin felt like it was on fire. She tried to reach for the bottled water she had stored away, but she barely had the strength to move. Her body was spent from having to hold onto the chain and rope. "…"

"Water? You want water?" the blonde asked as he searched and found a number of water bottles in a cupboard. Popping one open, he offered it to the Mercenary. She shook her head and gestured to her body "…"

"Pour it on you? Okay." He replied and did as she asked him to. When the cool water spilled on Quiet's skin a sense of relief flooded her as the sodium on her body was washed away. She blearily looked up at him, a small smile of gratitude forming. He could have left her to die. He could have just let her drown. But he didn't, he had saved her life.

"Color me curious. Why can't you swim?" he asked out of curiosity.

Quiet bit her lip for a moment, but saw no harm in telling him… in a manner of speaking. Pun very much intended. "…"

"You're serious? Lemme get this straight then, you were roasted alive, but somehow survived, then underwent a procedure which healed you but your insides are still barbecued. But now you breathe through your skin and being covered by clothes or being submerged in water will suffocate you? How do you eat?" he asked out of curiosity while becoming more and more fascinated by this woman.

She blinked her green eyes for a moment, finding his innocent curiosity and questioning… refreshing. "…"

"Ohhhh. Photosynthesis. You absorb nutrients through sunlight. That's neat. You… are actually pretty cool. And you have a nice voice." He commented with an innocent smile. This however made animated question marks blink over her head. How could he understand her? Why did he comment on her voice? She hadn't spoken a single word but yet… somehow… he listened.

"What's with the weird looks?" the Jinchuuriki asked since Quiet was looking at him rather oddly. A rustling of bushes was heard making Naruto duck down and take cover, peering over he saw that the Tanuki killer was walking out from the bushes. A baton in hand. The Tanuki masked killer walked along the beach for a few moments. Though for some reason he hadn't spotted the boat, Naruto and Quiet were on.

Pursing her lips, Quiet tapped the blonde on the shoulder to get his attention. "..!"

"You're going to… how can I trust you not to dart ME?" the whiskered teen whispered harshly. Quiet offered up her bound wrists "…"

"Fine! I'll put a little trust in you. I guess I don't have a choice then." He spoke and cut her bonds using her combat knife. With a nod, Quiet camouflaged herself. Smoothly walking over to the case which held the tranquilizer rifle she brought with her. She loaded it with a dart, then aimed and fired at the killer with pinpoint precision.

"OW! WHO SHOOTS A PERSON in… the … azzhhhhhzhhh." Spoke the killer in a mechanical voice before falling over onto the sand face first. After the killer had fallen into unconsciousness, the blonde and mercenary tied up the Killer against a tree. Quiet stood by with her rifle, which was now loaded with live rounds.

It didn't take long for the Tanuki masked killer to come to. Shaking his head the Killer spoke "Naruto! What the fuck? You shot me in the ass! Not cool dude! Not cool!"

"What the… how the hell did you know my name? Have you been stalking me to put on your hit list or something? Ya know… this is usually the big reveal part on who the Killer is. Time to remove the mask!" the blonde yelled as he yanked the large mask off the Killer's head revealing… Carly the Dyke?

"NOT COOL!" she yelled angrily while glaring at the whiskered teen. She then growled and whispered under her breath "Big boy never mentioned about getting shot in the ass."

"Carly! But… how..?" the blonde asked in complete confusion. Quiet merely stood by watching events unfold, as she observed her target… she found herself unable to finish this mission. She suddenly felt an… odd attachment to this boy. Could it be because he saved her? She shrugged and listened on what this 'Carly' was about to say.

"Oh yeah! You remember all those matching costumes in the cabin? I snagged one to impersonate the Killer and find whoever it was… but well… the zipper on my costume broke off." She explained with a sheepish smile making the Jinchuuriki sweat-drop.

He rubbed his temples then spoke while untying the Ebony skinned Dyke "Okay. New plan. We're going to find Kuroko, your girlfriend Kiana, and that little girl the killer had, and we're getting the Hell off this island."

"Sounds good. But what about killing the Tanuki guy?" she asked as she got up and cracked her stiff neck.

"We'll handle that if push comes to shove. But that's not really a priority. Besides… in horror films the killer ALWAYS comes back." The Blonde replied with a grimace. Both Quiet and Carly looked at each other for a few moments… and conceded that the Jinchuuriki had a good point.

 **Meanwhile. In Konoha.**

Sarada Uchiha, self proclaimed Kunoichi from the future, was tossing large chunks of wood, into a wood chipper. The trees in the Uchiha compound's courtyard bad withered away from lack of care and needed disposing so new trees could be planted. She was humming away quite happily since she had been welcomed amongst her fellow Kunoichi… but she still received odd looks whenever she claimed she was from the future.

However, unknown to her, rumors had spread across Konoha that a female Uchiha had recently appeared and was staying in the former Uchiha compound, which was being converted into a private School for Class D. And better yet, the Kyuubi brat wasn't in town.

Outside the compound, Kizashi Haruno was looking through a Spyglass observing the Uchiha from the future. Standing next to him was Sasuke, his trademark scowl on his face as he asked "So that's her? How did she survive the Massacre? Where has she been all this time?"

The pink haired man shrugged "Most likely she wasn't even in the village when it happened. Rumors say she's the bastard child of a Uchiha during some mission gone wrong. But then, does it matter? You'll finally have someone worthy of an Elite Uchiha such as yourself." He praised the self proclaimed Avenger, hoping to get in his good graces.

"Hn. So long as she's strong I don't care." Sasuke spoke, this Uchiha girl would make a good Trophy to keep around, if nothing else.

"Don't worry. I hired professionals to capture her." The former Shinobi spoke with a large grin. Inside the compound a trio of masked men were hiding in the shadows, two were hiding across from the courtyard, watching Sarada as she chucked another piece of wood into the chipper. The machine buzzing as it mulched the wood and sprayed it out.

The third man was creeping up behind Sarada, he then charged at her with a syringe ready and lunged forward to stick her and pump her full of tranquilizer. However, Sarada leaned down to pick up another hunk of wood, causing her assailant to fly over her and dive head first into the wood chipper.

The machine came to life as the sounds of screams, and the grinding of flesh and bone came from the Wood chipper. With a yelp Sarada grabbed the legs of her attacker and tried to pull him out, not knowing he meant to kidnap her. "I'LL SAVE YOU!" she screamed as she pulled harder.

From Kizashi and Sasuke's position the two wondered what was happening. Kizashi looked through his spyglass for a few moments and turned green at the sight of Sarada being sprayed by blood as she held onto the kidnapper's legs. The Ex Shinobi believed that she was a psycho who intentionally shoved the kidnapper inside the machine to turn him into bloody mulch.

The two other men meant to kidnap Sarada gaped at what happened. The Machine blocked their line of sight, preventing them from witnessing their colleague carelessly dive into the Wood chipper. So they too believed that the girl shoved him in there. Blood sprayed out the chute which splattered the two men causing them to run away in panic.

They ran through the Compound's hall and ran headlong into Ino Yamanaka who was assigned Laundry duty at this time. The two accidentally tackled her to the ground, smearing her in the excess blood. "HEEEEELP! RAPISTS! THEY'RE GOING TO RAPE AND MURDER ME!" the blonde Heiress screamed in horror at the sight of the two men on top of her, covered in blood. Believing they had ill intentions for her and her body.

At Ino's cry for help, Ameyuri appeared and decapitated the second Kidnapper, causing a geyser of blood to spray out from where his head was formerly attached. The third man managed to scramble to his feet and rush into a random room, which turned out to be a kitchen area.

Mikoto and Hinata were busy melting down cheese for the main dish at dinner time. The two saw the final Kidnapper run inside… only for him to slip on his colleagues blood from under his shoes and slide along the floor, he slammed headlong into the stove… and the pot of melted cheese fell on his head. He screamed in agony as the hot and gooey cheese stuck to his face. The heat scalding his head, as the melted dairy oozed into his ears, nostrils and mouth. Finally… his cries became silent as he perished from the hot melted cheese.

"My goodness! What in the hell just happened?" Mikoto asked. Not understanding what occurred in Class D's private School. Sarada then appeared, her body and face covered in blood and holding a pair of legs… missing its upper half.

The Uchiha rubbed the blood off her spectacles and spoke "I have no idea. I was throwing that wood into the chipper like you asked, when this suicidal guy dove right inside. I tried to save him from himself… but I failed."

Ameyuri and Ino then showed up, the former holding up the head of the second man. And the latter spoke "Then this weirdo and his friend jumped me to rape me and then murder me! But Ameyrui-san saved me. What happened to the third guy?" the Blonde girl asked while pointing at the still twitching body.

"Erm. He slipped and then… the pot full of melted cheese… fell on him. And killed him." Hinata answered. Unsure on what to make of this bizarre turn of events.

"Should… we call the authorities?" Asked Mikoto while scratching at her head.

"And tell them what Ghost-chan? That a suicidal idiot threw himself into the wood chipper, his two friends tried to take advantage of a young heiress with intent to murder her after, then the third guy was killed by a pot of melting cheese? What the hell is this? Some kind of weird manga?" asked the swordswoman while crossing her arms.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Good point Ame-chan. So… what are we supposed to do with the bodies?" Mikoto asked. Though she didn't fancy the idea of burying them in the compounds courtyard.

"Oh! I got a great idea!" yelled One Anko Mitarashi, who appeared seemingly from thin air.

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?" They yelled since the Snake Mistress just inserted herself into the bizarre situation of her own accord.

"Eh. I didn't see or hear much, but I saw the gory aftermath. Anyway, I have a great idea on what to do!" the purple haired proclaimed. The other Kunoichi were very much concerned about what she had in mind. But then, it wouldn't hurt to listen to her idea… right?

 **Back with Naruto.**

"See anything?" Naruto asked his newest companion, the mercenary known as Quiet. The sniper was using her enhanced vision to observe the terrain to spot their remaining companions or the Killer. Whichever came first into her line of sight.

"Ooooooh. We shouldn't be here. We gotta track down Kiana and the others!" Carly spoke while fidgeting, her every instinct telling her to track down her girlfriend. Though the last time she tried that… her girlfriend mistook her for the Killer and beat her up a bit.

"I know. But in Horror films, when you're on the Killer's home turf, he has the advantage. He knows the area. We don't. So wandering around aimlessly isn't going to help us." He explained, forcing the Ebony skinned Dyke to nod in understanding.

Suddenly, the sounds of indistinct yelling came from a short ways off. Looking in the sounds direction, Quiet spotted Kuroko and Kiana staring down the Tanuki masked killer, who was holding the girl known as Shizukesa, hostage.

Naruto and Carly rushed to this scene while Quiet prepared her rifle, which was loaded with live rounds. She aimed down the sights and had a clear shot on the Killer. However, he was standing on the edge of a cliff, and if she fired now, he might fall and take the girl with him. She had to wait for an opportunity to fire on him.

"CARLY! Wha… why are you dressed like the Tanuki?" Kiana asked when she saw her Dyke girlfriend, forgetting the current situation for a moment.

"Later! We've got bigger problems." Spoke Carly with a scowl. Her eyes glaring at the Killer for taking the child hostage.

The crackle and static of a speaker came on, as the Killer spoke with a mechanical voice "Ah. The pieces are all here. Excellent. You want this little thing back? Then you boy, must take her place. You have ten seconds to decide." With that said, the Killer began counting down.

Naruto knew that this was the part, that the cornered Killer would take one or more victims in a last act of rage, desperation or insanity. Plus the Killer made no promises to release the girl, much less have reason to keep unmade promise.

Shizukesa stared ahead, with her unblinking crimson eyes. Not showing any sign of distress or emotion. Finally a small smile crossed her lips as she mouthed 'Goodbye'. The red eyed girl threw whatever weight she had against the Tanuki masked killer causing the two to fall off the cliff and into the ocean. Naruto leapt forward to catch the girl's hand… but he couldn't reach her in time as she and her captor plunged into the sea.

"She… she… sacrificed herself. To kill him? Why?" Naruto asked quietly. His mind reeling from shock. Kuroko appeared and placed a hand on his shoulder to answer him "Who knows? Maybe she was tired of being his plaything? Poor girl. She seemed to like you too. Still… you can't help the dead."

The blonde nodded, feeling only slightly better as he spoke in a somewhat shaky tone "Y-yeah. You're right I guess. Well, we have a boat on the other side of the island. We should probably head back home. I still owe the others a vacation. Carly-san? Kiana-san? Can ya make it back home when we reach the mainland?"

The two smiled and nodded, with Kiana answering "No problem. Our boyfriend will get us out of this weird Fanfic later." Carly screamed in outrage as she screamed "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT! NOW BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN!"

Naruto and Kuroko had question marks over their heads, the former speaking "Umm. The hell is a Fanfic? Never mind. I don't wanna know. We'll get you to the mainland, and when we part ways… I hope we NEVER meet again." The two ebony skinned women chuckled nervously at that.

Off deeper in the woods, Quiet dismounted from her perch in the trees and decided to go with the boy. He genuinely interested her… plus it was nice to have someone around she could 'talk' with.

 **Later**.

Shizukesa emerged with the Tanuki masked Killer from the Ocean. Her neck visibly broken as evidenced by the bone that was easily seen. With a sigh she snapped her head back into place with a sickening snap and crunch noise. At her feet, was the killer, the front of his mask had shattered. He rolled onto his back… revealing the face of Mizuki. Who escaped from prison some time ago. His mouth sewn shut by wire.

Shizukesa, was, in laymen's terms. An immortal being. Cursed by the Shinigami in an age long before Chakra ever existed. She was old enough to have seen the Rabbit Godesses' rise and fall, to have served as a nanny for the Rikudou Sennin and his brother, old enough to be godmother to the Sennin's children. And so on and so forth to this day. Despite being immortal and perpetually immune to harm, she was forever trapped in the body of a ten year old child.

Unable to age, and unable to grow and develop into the beautiful young woman she would envision in her dreams. Having no sense of purpose, she isolated herself on this accused island. Occasionally making sport of anyone foolish enough to mistake her island as a vacation spot. Which wasn't true, a miner some years ago lied about that when he discovered a diamond mine.

Mizuki made a somewhat entertaining puppet. Making the 'fiction' that the killer was an adult. While all along it was the poor 'sex slave' kept locked away. It didn't take very long to wear the Ex-Chunin's mind down, brainwashing him then molding him into a meat puppet for her amusement. Now… this island became boring for her. There was no more fun to be had. And the Chunin had long outlived his usefulness to her.

"M-m-mama?" Mizuki choked out, the wires binding his lips together having broken from the fall. The speaker in his mask crackling and making static noises, as prerecorded sentences can be heard. The red eyed girl sighed, the idiot was so far gone, he thought that she was his mother. It was quite endearing, but now she was through with him. Her fingers twitched slightly, which resulted in the Silver haired Chunin's head being severed from his body.

Shizukesa looked off and saw the boat Naruto and his cohorts were leaving on. She could sense the powers and spirit of her god child in him. He could prove more entertaining to watch and play with. Though, he seemed like a nice boy. She'd be gentle with him.

 **In Konoha**.

"FALSE ARREST! FALSE ARREST! FALSE ARREST!" screamed one Jiraiya who had recently awoken in his motel after a night of drinking and banging two dollar whores. Then he somehow found himself surrounded by corpses, and then was arrested by the Anbu in an impromptu manner and without warning.

"Jiraiya if the Sannin. You have the right to remain silent." Spoke one Yugao who was aware if Anko's little revenge plot since the Sannin blackmailed the Snake Mistress with sealing away the Curse mark, in exchange for sex. Which was completely unacceptable.

While the Neko masked Anbu tried to maintain a tone of professionalism… she was deeply amused by this turn of events. Jiraiya had this coming for years.

Meanwhile, Kizashi was breathing a sigh of relief that the three 'professionals' he had hired weren't connected to him. He was shocked to see that Class D was a place for psychopaths and murderers. He'd need to try and handle this in another way. Fortunately… Sasuke was still very much interested in Class D itself.

 **End Chapter Five.**

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little chapter. My next project will be providing a better and fuller start of Beast Shinobi. So keep an eye out for it. Please check out the original too if you like. Thanks very much, and please review.**


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